X Lost In Croggon X
by xLaramiex
Summary: Badly written with a Mary-Sue main character. But I still love the plot.##Kayla is re-reading the Gift when she hears a noise in the bathroom. When she goes in, she meets Maerad...
1. The Beginning

Yes, it looks familiar, doesn't it? Lost In Croggon. Here we go again. Let's hope it's better this time!

Just a short chapter to start with, sorry about that. The others will be longer but I thought I'd get on with it.

--

It is not that I am unhappy with my life, only that I find the world of fantasy rather less dull. It is for this reason that I read books. I have my preferences, of course, as everybody does, and my own personal favourite is the Pellinor series. I read it on the bus, I read it at work, I read it in the bath. I know every detail of each of the characters' lives. It drives my boyfriend mad. Nathan, his name is, and he does not understand the magic of reading. I have tried many times to convince him, but he remains sceptical.

One day, when he was out, I lay down on my bed with a hot chocolate and restarted The Gift for the thousandth time.

_For almost as long as she could remember, Maerad had been imprisoned behind walls._

I settled down into the blankets and smiled with the comfort the familiar words leant me. I took a sip of my hot chocolate, burning my tongue, and jumped as I heard a crash in the bathroom next door. I swore as hot liquid ran down my fingers. Setting the cup down on the floor, I stood up, wondering what had fallen over in the bathroom to make the noise.

I opened the door slowly, to make sure I didn't hit anything behind the door, but it swung open easily.

There was a girl stood there. She had dark hair and pale skin and looked utterly shell-shocked.

"What is this place?" she asked. It sounded as though she was trying to be brave, but there was a tremor in her voice.

"Who are you?" I asked incredulously.

"Maerad…" she replied. "My name is Maerad." She seemed to gather her courage suddenly, as she drew herself up. "And who are you? Have you spelled me?"

"Maerad? You're Maerad?" I could see it now: the high cheekbones; the hair; the eyes, glaring right at me.

"What does my name mean to you?" she asked, with the same attempt at bravery, though I knew she was terrified. "I don't know you."

"I…er…never mind. Where did you come from?"

"I think I came through there," she replied (Maerad! Maerad in my bathroom!), pointing at the shower.

I looked over at it doubtfully. "Through here?" I walked over to the shower and opened the door.

It was the strangest experience of my life. Through the glass, I could see the shower. Through the open door, it was dark, and I could just see the wooden wall on the other side of what I could see was a hut. There was straw on the ground, and a cow staring at me with frightened eyes, blinking in the harsh electric light coming through the door.

I stepped through reverently. This was the cowbyre. Sorry, this was The Cowbyre. The one where Maerad met Cadvan, where the whole story started. The door swung closed behind me with the squelch-y thud of plastic waterproof seals, and I realised my mouth was open. I closed it quickly and looked around, seeing the dust motes floating in the rays of sun coming through the cracks in the walls. I glanced behind me and there was only a wooden door. A great panic washed over me, thundering through my stomach and making my head feel woozy.

I tried to open the door, but there was a padlock on it and a heavy bolt which was rusted shut. I shoved at it desperately, but it wouldn't give. Right. Looked like I was trapped here. I turned around with some apprehension, and started as I saw a man in the doorway.

Surely that was Cadvan?


	2. Cadvan

Thank you to my reviewers of the previous chapter, though there were a disappointing few of you. =(

--

__

Reprise:

I tried to open the door, but there was a padlock on it and a heavy bolt which was rusted shut. I shoved at it desperately, but it wouldn't give. Right. Looked like I was trapped here. I turned around with some apprehension, and started as I saw a man in the doorway.

Surely that was Cadvan?

__

--

I stared at the man, trying to work out if it was indeed Cadvan. He had dark brown, slightly unkempt hair; dark, stern eyes; and a tense expression. He walked slowly into the byre, his eyes fixed on me as mine were fixed on him. When he had reached the centre of the byre, he stopped, turned his body to face me and frowned.

"Do you see me?" he asked, his voice rough.

"Yeah," I replied, trying to contain my joy. This was Cadvan! _Cadvan!_

Cadvan stared at me, his expression blank but I knew how shocked he was. "There are not many as can see the likes of myself, though perhaps my art fails me."

"Who are you?" _As if I don't know. Though I'd better be sure._

"I am Cadvan, of the School of Lirigon. Now, mistress, how do they name you?"

"My name's Kayla. Kayla of…of Pellinor."

"Of Pellinor? That School was sacked, a long time ago. It was thought none survived." He examined me dispassionately. I fidgeted uncomfortably, waiting for him to say something. I suddenly understood how Maerad had felt as he looked at her; his gaze made me feel exposed. "You were not always a slave?"

"No…I used to live with my mother and father in Pellinor. I was…" I quickly did the maths - "nine when Pellinor was sacked." I began to wonder what would happen when Cadvan scried me. It was inevitable that he would, and he would see immediately that I was lying.

"What is your mother's name?"

"Mary. She died when I was twelve." This much, at least, was true, and I cast down my eyes as I thought of her.

"My apologies," Cadvan said courteously. He paused before asking, "And your father?"

"I've not seen him for years." This, too, was true.

I turned away and went to stroke the cows to escape his gaze. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him sink down into the straw. I glanced at him fervently and saw he had his head in his hands. I ran my hand over a fawny-brown cow and looked back at Cadvan. I could still barely believe I was here. Not twenty minutes ago, I had been sitting reading about this very situation, and now here I was in Maerad's place.

"You cannot stay here, if you are of Pellinor," Cadvan said at last. I turned to face him, hope in my heart. Was it possible that I could take Maerad's place completely? "Could you - perhaps - spare some milk?" he asked.

I handed him a bucketful wordlessly and he drank from it deeply.

"A blessing on you, and on your house," he said formerly.

"That's okay," I replied. _Not even my milk,_ I thought.

"Will you be coming here again today? To the byre, I mean."

"You're not leaving me here! I've been here twelve years," I lied, "I'm not waiting any longer!" I walked forward, grabbed his sleeve at his elbow and dragged him out of the hut. He wrenched his elbow out of my grip and I whipped around to make sure he was coming. He was stood with his arms folded, frowning at me.

"I would sorely like to rest, Kayla," he said, sounding disapproving.

"Oh, come on, you wimp, no pain no gain," I replied, impatient to get moving. I took a fold of fabric near his elbow again and started pulling him out.

"Well, we can't leave like this. You will need to be hidden. Here, stand in front of me and I shall put a glimmer spell on you." He placed his hands on my shoulders and I marvelled at the fact that this was _Cadvan._ "_Larnea il oseanna, lembel Kayla inasfrea!_ Do you know what that means? Have you the Speech yet?"

"No, but I know those words." I recalled his choice of words with a jolt. "Yet?" I asked in surprise.

"You are a Bard, are you not? I am sure I can feel it."

"Er…yeah." I was a Bard? _I was a Bard??!!_

"Come, then. Let us leave. Is there anything you would like to bring?"

I glanced around the byre, and suddenly my eyes alighted upon something…The lyre. Maerad's lyre. I snatched it up and showed it to Cadvan with a smile. "Just this," I replied truthfully. I had taken nothing with me except The Gift in my inside jacket pocket. In case you are wondering why I was wearing a jacket inside, the heating was broken.

Cadvan watched me for a few more seconds, taking in my scruffy jeans, my black converse. He nodded almost imperceptibly and I knew he was going to take me with him. As he left the byre, he made for the south wall. "Now don't speak. I cannot make us unheard as well," he said softly in his deep voice, sending electricity up my spine. I couldn't hope but notice that he was just as gorgeous as all Pellinorites imagined him, despite his dishevelled appearance and the shadows under his eyes.

It was horrible going through the open squares, with Gilman's men lounging against the walls and toying with their weapons. It was very hard not to shrink behind every wall and hide in the shadows when I was so unused to the idea of magery. I shuddered involuntarily as the dogs lined up beside what I assumed was the Great Hall sniffed at us, but the men holding them looked straight through us.

I kept close to Cadvan for fear of discovery, walking as quietly as I could, until Cadvan gestured that we should climb the wall. I stared up at it in apprehension. I've never been too keen on heights, and I couldn't climb. Cadvan stowed the lyre in his pack before we began. The wall seemed very high, but I copied Cadvan as he set his foot against the wall and found it was not as bad as I had thought it would be. When we reached the top of the wall, Cadvan held out an arm to stop me, waited until there were no guards around, and then gestured for us to cross the narrow path. Together, we climbed down the other side. As I jumped down the last few feet and landed with a _thump_ on the ground, I realised with relief that there would be no dogs to chase us, because neither Cadvan nor I belonged there.

Then I realised that Maerad was still missing, and Gilman would send out the dogs.

I looked down into the stoney valley, the ground sweeping away before us, a constant steady slope of boulders and mountain rubble covered with sparse scrub and the odd tree bent against the harsh winds which swept down from the mountains, the Osidh Annova, eastern border of the Inner Kingdom. I rough track meandered aimlessly down the centre of the valley, strewn here and there with stones from some landslide.

I glanced at Cadvan with some delight, and grinned.

"And so we are out," he said, a prophetic tone to his voice. "Now all is left to do is to walk."

I groaned, but followed him as he set off. As I glanced behind me I saw the setting sun staining the Cot red and throwing all the valley into shadow.

--

I am SO glad I decided to re-write this. It's not bad; much better than the first version.

Please, please review =)


	3. Gilman's hounds

Thank you to weatherwitch.X.x.X., who reminded me that I had forgotten the lyre. As a result of this, the last chapter has been altered slightly. You can go back if you want but you don't really need to; all I did was make her take it. I have also realised that it is morning, so ignore the sunset in the last chapter =P

Short, I'm afraid, but that's how it is. Sorry Jenny =P

Big hello to Kimberly. I have a plan ; )

--

_Reprise:_

"And so we are out," he said, a prophetic tone to his voice. "Now all is left to do is to walk."

I groaned, but followed him as he set off. As I glanced behind me I saw the setting sun staining the Cot red and throwing all the valley into shadow.

_--_

Not half a mile later, I heard a hunting horn, and shuddered despite myself."They will not hurt us, Kayla," Cadvan assured me.

"I know. It's still kinda worrying though!"

"Well, there's nothing we can do about them until they arrive, so put them from your mind," he advised.

As the hounds reached us, Cadvan turned to face them.

"_Lemmach_!" he said.

Exactly as was described in the book, the hounds came to a halt.

"_Lemmach ni ardrost_!" The lead dog sniffed around Cadvan's knees. "_Ni ardost_," he murmured, stroking the dog's nose. Each of the dogs came to sniff at him, then turned and trotted casually back the riders.

"Marvellous," I said, grinning. "Come on then."

He gave a pained smile and led the way again. "We had best keep moving," he said, sounding regretful.

"Are you okay?" I asked, concerned. "I mean, are you alright."

"Aye, I am."

I didn't believe him. He looked awful; his eyes were bloodshot, his face was drawn and he was bent over like he was 800 years old. He breathed heavily, so I watched him carefully as I shivered in the cool air. After a while, Cadvan removed his cloak silently and handed it to me. I thanked him gratefully and huddled inside it.

"What memories have you of Pellinor?" Cadvan asked quietly after a while.

"It was a very beautiful place. My father used to take me to the lake every week for a picnic. My mother sang to me a lot."

"What do you know of the Gift, Kayla?"

"Quite a lot. I remember it from Pellinor when I was little." I was getting good at making this stuff up.

"And about your Bardic heritage?"

"I learnt a lot from my teachers." _A woman called Alison,_ I thought to myself. I put out a hand to Cadvan as he stumbled and bit my lip nervously. He hadn't been this bad in the book.

"I must rest, just briefly," Cadvan said, sinking down onto the ground. I sat next to him and said nothing, but kept stealing glances at him. I was beginning to worry that it was my fault that he was this bad - after all, it had been I who had persuaded him to leave early.

Cadvan began to sing to himself softly.

Dashed into darkness, deeper than heart grief,

All voices mourn thee, high and humble,

Treespeech and beastspeech, manspeech and Bard,

All voices mourn thee, fruit of the dawn,

Flower of ice en…

He broke off suddenly, clutching his head.

"What's the matter?" I asked quickly.

"I am a little dizzy," he replied. "It will pass. Come, we had better continue." He pulled himself up slowly, looking like the 80-year-old he was, and set off again, I following in his wake. As he walked, he pulled out a bottle and drank deeply from it. "Some medhyl?" he asked, offering it to me.

"No, I'm alright," I replied, thinking that he needed it far more than I.

We walked on in silence, and I started to feel awkward. To Maerad, he had spoken of the Light and of Afinil, but as I had told him I knew of the Gift it seemed that he did not know what to say.

"You say I am a Bard…?" I began awkwardly after a while, when the sun was glaring down on my back,

"Have you not been listening?" he replied shortly.

"I don't hang on every word," I retorted. "There is a world outside you, you know."

It seemed that my temper was as short as his. What a fun trip this would be(!)

Cadvan gasped suddenly, and dropped to his knees. "Ahh, my head," he groaned. He put a hand on my arm and gripped my elbow. "My apologies," he gasped. "At this moment I stop the whole mountain from toppling on our heads. It pains me." Sweat was running down his face, and he was frowning hard. I wondered if I could help him, as Maerad had, and took his hand tightly.

I could feel nothing.

"Come on," I encouraged, pulling him upwards. "We had best keep moving." _The end may be in sight, but it's a flipping long way away._ I put his arm around my shoulders and he leaned on me heavily, his breath coming in short gasps. Rocks began to fall, as though in slow-motion, from high in the mountains, and for the first time I began to feel afraid. What if these rocks crushed us? What would happen to me in the "real" world? Would I just disappear? I pictured Nathan coming home, expecting me to be there, and finding an empty house. I shuddered involuntarily and pressed on.

All at once, I felt Cadvan's whole weight fall onto me, and as I looked at his face I saw that he had blacked out.

As I lowered him, in considerable shock, to the ground, there was only one thought on my mind.

_Am I going to be responsible for the death of Cadvan of Lirigon?_


	4. The Lyre

_New chappy =)_

_Will Cadvan die? =O_

--

_Reprise:_

All at once, I felt Cadvan's whole weight fall onto me, and as I looked at his face I saw that he had blacked out.

As I lowered him, in considerable shock, to the ground, there was only one thought on my mind.

_Am I going to be responsible for the death of Cadvan of Lirigon?_

--

I stared into his face, praying that he would open his eyes again.

"Cadvan? Cadvan, please wake up," I murmured. His face remained impassive. More rocks began to fall, and a small pebble hit my foot. This decided me, and I started dragging Cadvan along the path. His feet scuffed along the floor. My arms started to ache with his weight but I refused to let him fall. I kept stumbling over rocks and tree roots because I was walking backwards, but I managed to keep my feet.

I kept up a steady stream of conversation for as long as I could. "Come on, Cadvan, wake up, you're okay, just open your eyes." Soon, though, I had no spare breath with which to speak and lapsed into silence.

"Come on…" I groaned. The end of the valley was drawing nearer, but I was conscious of the moment in the book when Cadvan said the oppression grew worse the further they went. Was I, in fact, hindering his recovery?

At last, I had to rest, and sank down slowly onto the hard, stoney ground. I rested my head against a tree and breathed deeply. Cadvan was as still as death. Small stones clattered against my feet, and I heard larger ones starting to fall, and I grabbed Cadvan again and pulled as hard as I could.

I don't think I've ever been so scared in all my life. The stones were getting larger now, rocks falling down from high above. A large rock hit my leg and I yelped. A second hit Cadvan on the hand. The rocks fell faster, rolling and bouncing down the hill.

After what seemed an age, we finally reached the end of the valley. One more heave, and we were through. A slight pressure I hadn't even been aware of disappeared, and I collapsed to the ground, closing my eyes against the noon sun. The blood was pounding in my ears.

I felt a hand on my forehead and squinted upwards. "Cadvan!"

"Are you alright?" Cadvan asked me, frowning.

"Yeah, I'm just tired," I replied, sitting up.

"What happened?" Cadvan asked.

"You passed out. I just dragged you from all the way over there," I added, pointing.

Cadvan looked in the direction my finger was pointing. "That must be over a mile," he said, sounding incredulous. "Are you sure you dragged me all that way?"

"Yup. I mean, yes."

He stared at me for a moment longer, then leaned down to clasp my hands solemnly. "Thank you, my friend," he said. "You did well."

I blushed and smiled, but he had already stood up and looked away, staring down the path at the sun which was beginning to set. "As soon as you are ready, we should go," he told me. I gazed at his back wistfully, then looked past him down the path at the sunset. He turned after a moment and met my eyes.

"May I see your lyre?" he asked, and I nodded, gesturing with aching muscles towards his own pack, in which was Maerad's lyre. He took it from his pack and examined it closely, and I watched him draw his long, slender fingers over the strings. The notes settled sweetly on my ears. I could never have imagined how it sounded from words on a page.

Cadvan whistled softly. "Was this your mother's?"

"Erm…yes."

Cadvan turned the instrument over in his hands, running his fingers over the carven script thoughtfully. "Have you ever had to tune it? Or replace the strings?"

"No, neither. My mother said it was quite valuable."

"Valuable? Kayla, it is lucky that Gilman is not better educated, for if he knew the wealth of this lyre it is doubtful he would have let you keep it. Such lyres have not been made in a long time." He paused. "Do you know what this script says?"

My heart began to beat faster; this was the crux on which the whole of the series hung. "It is a song," I replied.

"Why don't you sing it for me?"

I bit my lip nervously. I love to sing, but I hated to sing in front of people. I didn't even know the tune. I wasn't even sure if I could remember the words! I licked my lips and started singing hesitantly.

When I had finished, Cadvan said, "That was beautiful." I went even redder than I had been before. "And now, Kayla, we must think of our plans. I have a long way to travel, through dangerous country, and quickly. And now I have you, and you bring with you no extra food, nor blankets, nor spare clothes - all you bring is a harp, like a true Bard. What shall we do?"

"Perhaps we should go to Innail," I suggested innocently.

"That was exactly what was in my thoughts," Cadvan replied. "It is either that or I could take you to Norloch. It is up to you."

I thought for a moment. Whilst Maerad was gone, it was up to me to make sure that the book proceeded as it should. I knew of no way Maerad could return, as I didn't even know how I had got here, so I nodded decisively. "I think I will come with you to Norloch, if that is alright."

"Of course," he replied. "And welcome. We shall have to stop in Innail to get supplies."

"Okay." I stood up and went to join Cadvan. "I'm ready to go," I told him.

"Good," he replied, not unkindly, and continued walking without speaking further. I rolled my eyes and followed him. Did he never stop? I trudged after him gloomily, resigning myself to a very, very long walk.

I still dreaded the moment when he would ask to scry me.

--

_Cadvan's not dead! Kayla might be found out, though! What do you think will happen? Well don't ask me, I'm just the writer. I don't know yet._

_Please review, the next chapter will follow soon =)_


	5. Scrying

_Welcome to chapter 5 =P_

_--_

_Reprise:_

I stood up and went to join Cadvan. "I'm ready to go," I told him.

"Good," he replied, not unkindly, and continued walking without speaking further. I rolled my eyes and followed him. Did he never stop? I trudged after him gloomily, resigning myself to a very, very long walk.

I still dreaded the moment when he would ask to scry me.

--

That night, the two of us lay quietly under the stars. I felt so much like a Bard it was unbelievable. I gazed up at the twinkling sky, felt the wind on my face, and thought, _This is real._ I had known it was real before, of course, but had never quite believed it until now.

Presently, Cadvan sat up, and I felt his eyes on my face. I propped myself up on my elbows and looked at him questioningly.

"Kayla, I would like to ask you something. It pains me to do so, and if it were only myself at stake then I would not ask at all." He eyed me expressionlessly for a moment.

"Well, go on then!" I said impatiently.

He shot me a brief look of annoyance before staring into the glowing embers of the fire we (I should say Cadvan) had built earlier. "I would like to scry you."

The whole world screeched to a halt. I cursed myself for not realising what he was about to ask after I had been waiting for it almost since the moment I had arrived. I echoed Maerad's own words, wondering as I did so how she was doing in my own world. "What if I don't agree?"

"Then I won't do it. And we shall continue with our journey."

I felt caught between a rock and a hard place. If I refused, he would think I was of the Dark or at the very least he would never truly trust me again. If I let him, he would know I was lying about who I was. How could I ever explain? How could one explain to somebody that they were a character in a book, merely a figment of somebody else's imagination?

I glanced at Cadvan uncertainly. He eyes were fixed on my face unwaveringly. _What the hell. _"Okay."

"Alright, then stand up," he said. "Stand here, in front of me," he added as I stood up. I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. "Don't be frightened," he murmured.

"I'm not bloody frightened," I snapped.

"Empty your mind," he said softly. I let out a breath slowly, trying not to be too worried. The worst that could happen was that he found out I wasn't from here.

I could feel him in my mind. It was so strange, I have no idea how I knew but I did. Then he started floating through my memories.

I saw my father drinking himself into oblivion. He was not a bad man, just weak. He never became vilent when he was drunk. All he wanted was an escape from his worries.

I saw him walking out of the front door, not bothering to close it behind him, and stuck in my brain was the image of the sunlight coming through the stained-glass door, shining serenely on the pale carpet. He never came back.

I saw the first moment I saw Nathan, the cheeky grin he shot me from the other side of the room.

I saw my mother's body lying on the table. My grandmother, who had promised to look after me, had been against it, but I had insisted. Her eyes were closed, as though she were asleep, and her face was pale.

The images stopped abruptly. My normal vision returned slowly, and Cadvan swam back into view in front of my eyes.

He looked for a moment as though he couldn't decide what to say first. Then he said quietly, "Did your father leave you?"

I wasn't sure if he knew or not. "Yes. When I was six. He just walked out one day and never came back."

Cadvan regarded me steadily for another moment, and I looked away into the fire awkwardly. "Well, it seems clear that you are who you say." I stared at him in astonishment. "I am sorry for having to ask, Kayla, but I had to be certain. I thought you might be something of the Dark, sent to trick me!"

I forced a smile, trying not to show my amazement. "Of course not."

"Well, I do believe it is time to rest. I will take the first watch."

"No, you go to sleep. You need it more than me."

And as I watched him settle down to sleep, I looked back up at the stars and wondered how on earth he had not realised.

--

The next day was another hard day of walking and walking and walking. I got so bored with it, though Cadvan and I spoke about Bardic culture and history. I was proud to find that I knew enough to keep up.

"It's very quiet," I said at one point. "There are no birds."

"Aye," Cadvan agreed. "It is likely that the Landrost has sent something unpleasant after us."

_Wers,_ I thought darkly.

"I think the Landrost sends his wers," Cadvan continued. "I think I should have left you there, Kayla, rather than draw you into my own danger."

I shrugged. "It was my choice. And I chose to come. So it's not your fault."

Cadvan sighed unhappily and upped the pace, and I started gasping for breath. I found it very hard to keep up with him, and soon started to lag behind. After a while, Cadvan glanced behind him to see me practically horizontal as I staggered after him. He seemed to be surprised that I wasn't right behind him and waited impatiently for me to catch up. I stopped and leaned my hands on my knees. Cadvan eyed me as though he were appraising livestock.

"You must hurry," Cadvan said.

"I've got mild asthma," I hissed; literally hissed, for the asthma was beginning to clutch at my chest and I had left my inhaler in my own world.

"What is asthma?" Cadvan asked.

"It means I can't breathe properly sometimes," I explained.

Cadvan looked thoughtful for a moment, then laid a hand on my chest just below my neck. I was too busy breathing deeply to ask him what the hell he was doing, but after a moment the tightness lessened and I could straighten up.

"My apologies, Kayla," said Cadvan. "I did not realise. Would you like to rest?"

I rubbed my chest, amazed by what he had done, and shook my head. "I'm okay now," I told him. He watched me walking past him for a moment, then overtook me and led the way again.

It was not long before I was gasping desperately again.

--

Review, s'il-vous plait =) And thanks for reading. The fight with the wers will be next chapter, so it will get more exciting =)


	6. Fight

_No reprise this chapter, as I don't think it's needed._

--

I stumbled after Cadvan, wheezing, as he led us up a small hill.

"We shall spend the night out of the open," Cadvan said as we reached the top of the hill and I leaned on him for support. "This used to be a guardhouse. The city was lost in the Silence, but this still stands." He walked inside, under a thick granite lintel, with me leaning on his shoulder. My breathing was starting to ease slightly, but I could really have done with my inhaler. The walls were tall and smooth, though there were no floors or ceilings. If it rained, we would get wet.

Cadvan threw down his pack and glanced around the tower critically. "We will need to build a fire. Can you collect some?"

"Gimme a sec," I replied, still wheezing and clutching my chest.

Cadvan placed his hand on my chest again and suddenly I could breathe properly again. He ran his thumb down my throat, and my stomach leapt. "That should help for the moment," he said, already making for the door. "Come, we must hurry."

I followed him to the bottom of the hill, and he started cutting at a thorn tree which had been uprooted in a storm. "You take this up and I'll cut some more," he said, thrusting half a tree at me. I tried to hold something that wouldn't spike me in the hand, and eventually succeeded in dragging it up the hill. When I returned, he dumped another load on me and went up the hill before me with a small dagger.

I dumped the wood down in the centre of the tower's single room and sat on the floor close to the edge. I closed my eyes and put my head back against the wall.

I heard Cadvan's footsteps enter the tower, pause, and go out again. I thought he was going to get some more wood but I couldn't be bothered to cart any more up the hill so I pretended to be asleep. I felt guilty for it but I knew my asthma would slay me if I tried it again. Cadvan could only keep it at bay for so long.

A few minutes later, he returned, and I opened my eyes to see him drop some more wood with a clatter onto the ground.

"This will have to do," he said. "It is growing dark. I only hope it will last us until the morning." He spared me a glance, looking faintly disapproving, and started building a fire. The heat washed over me deliciously. "This is not the best time to ask you, but can you fight with a knife?"

"No," I replied, terrified at the thought of having to kill anything. _Perhaps my stepfather,_ I thought savagely.

Cadvan looked at me expressionlessly for a moment. I could practically hear him thinking, _so what _are _you good at?_

I shifted uncomfortably and he looked away. Passing a hand over his eyes, he said, "There is little we can do to remedy that at this point. Leave any fighting to me. Do not be afraid. Fear is their worst weapon, and you must hold it back with everything you have." I watched as he drew his sword, the ringing noise echoing against the walls. There was nothing that felt more like a fantasy novel than this. The fire crackled as Cadvan stretched. He reached for his pack and tossed me a biscuit and some nuts and fruit.

I ate the biscuit, practically breaking my teeth in the process, polished off the fruit but only picked at the nuts.

"If you don't want them, leave them," Cadvan snapped irritably after a while.

I glanced up in surprise and gave the nuts back to him silently. "God, I'm tired," I announced, yawning.

"God?" he asked quizzically.

"Erm. At the School of Pellinor, we sometimes called the Light 'God'."

"Why?" Cadvan asked curiously.

"We…just…did."

Cadvan went to speak, but was cut off by a long howl.

"Is that them?" I asked nervously.

"Aye," he confirmed. "We are safe for now. You should get some sleep."

I shrugged. "Alright. Wake me up if anything interesting happens."

I just caught sight of his smile before I lay down. "Rest assured that I will," he chuckled. "I will be watching."

He gazed into the fire, the flames dancing in his blue eyes. His head was slightly bowed, and he looked completely calm, though alert. My eyes began to droop, and when I slept I dreamt of those beautiful eyes, the fire reflected in them like water.

--

I awoke with a start what seemed only seconds later, as Cadvan tapped me on the shoulder and called my name softly.

I tried to say "yeah?" but it came out "mnyeh?" I rubbed at my eyes, which were stinging, and squinted at him.

"They're coming," he told me simply.

I jerked to attention and looked above me, shuddering despite myself.

"They're going to rush the barrier," he whispered.

I couldn't believe he wasn't going to let me fight. I would be great, I knew I would. My heart beat faster as I waited for something to happen, pounding in my ears. I was aware that my eyes were wide as I strained my ears to hear them. I could hear little except the enraged howling as they were thrown back.

The anticipation manifested itself as an uncontrollable shivering. I hid it as best I could, not wanting Cadvan to think I was afraid. However, my efforts were in vain, as after a while he said softly, "Have no fear, Kayla. All will be well."

"I'm not scared, exactly," I replied. "Just…I dunno, nervous." As I spoke, one of the wer's howls suddenly changed in pitch, becoming thin and low, and I could almost make out words in it. Though it started quietly, it became louder and louder.

"Counter-spell," I murmured.

Cadvan nodded. "We are unlucky," he agreed, picking up his sword. I saw him frowning into the fire, and I knew he was fighting back their attack. I watched him for a while, seeing sweat start on his forehead. I shuffled over to him and took his hand gently. He squeezed mine momentarily, and let go. The voice outside reached a crescendo and suddenly there was some sort of wave of power, causing me to flinch and Cadvan to lean back against the wall with a grimace of pain. But, as I had been fearing would not happen, the wers could not enter.

There was silence from outside.

Cadvan rested his sword on the ground and handed me a bottle. "Drink," he said. I took a swig and handed it back, and after he had drunk from it himself he wiped his mouth and continued, "We must be vigilant. Keep your eyes above us, as that is the only way they can get in now. Hopefully the fire will spook them a little."

I sat close to Cadvan, the warmth from the fire washing over my back. I listened as hard as I could, but Cadvan's Bardic-enhanced ears were much better than my own, and soon I found myself wondering why the scrying had not revealed me as not who I said I was. Perhaps I was. I could be. I could be a Bard if I wanted.

My musings were sent off track as I heard wings high above me. Cadvan threw a few logs onto the fire and I stared into the hot, angry flames and was caught in a horrible memory until Cadvan jogged my elbow. "Stay alert," he said impatiently. "They are coming, and you must stay behind me."

I did as he said, actually afraid now as I cowered back from the flames. Cadvan pushed me towards them, and I knew it would keep the wers away but at that point I was more afraid of the flames than the wers. They terrified me, set me to remembering an awful event. I didn't see the first three wers go down, but as I turned to look at Cadvan the world seemed to slow as I saw him fall, his silhouette framed by the fire. Without second thought, I grabbed his sword out of his limp hand and starting swinging it with all my might at the horrible creatures around me. There was nothing I wanted more than to kill them all, and I felt an incredible sense of power as they fell, one after another, spurting black gouts of blood as they died.

I walked around the lifeless bodies, thrashing at them with Cadvan's sword. They deserved to die, to hurt, to _burn_.

I turned to Cadvan to see he was watching me warily. He drew back ever so slightly as I handed back his sword, then took it slowly.

"That's twice you've saved my skin," he noted softly.

I shrugged. There was a long pause as he went around to examine the corpses.

"We need to talk," he said, his eyes burning into mine.

--

_So what do you think? It would make me tres happy if you would review_ =)


	7. The Cave

_This chapter is a little short, because the next chapter is going to be a special bumper-length one for all of the time they're in Innail (unless it gets ridiculously long, in which case I will split it)._

_--_

_Reprise:_

"We need to talk," Cadvan said, his eyes burning into mine.

--

"Shoot," I replied, sitting back against the wall and stretching my legs out in front of me.

"What do you mean?" Cadvan asked, sitting next to me.

"It means 'go ahead'," I explained impatiently.

"Alright." He took a deep breath. "It seems to me that you have a lot of anger in you. I think you owe it to me to explain, if you are to travel with me. I should not like to provoke your anger without meaning to," he added with a small, encouraging smile.

I shrugged. "I have no anger," I replied mildly, resting my head on the wall and closing my eyes.

"Kayla, not only did you kill four wers, you continued to hack them to pieces. That is more than fighting." His voice was becoming deeper, darker. "It seemed to me that it was vengeance. What is in your past that you have such anger?"

My jaw set unconsciously. "That's none of your business," I replied raggedly, the flames blazing behind my eyelids.

Cadvan turned my face towards him and I opened my eyes instinctively as I felt his fingers on my skin. I had dreamed of moments like this for so long. I gazed into his face for a second which seemed to stretch out and last much longer than a single tick of a clock. "If you do not wish to tell me I will not ask further, but it may help to talk about it," he said gently, after removing his hand.

I sighed deeply and said, "It's just from Pellinor. I can remember it burning. I have flashbacks sometimes. I guess I got stuck in it."

Cadvan looked at me closely, then took my hand. "I am sorry," he said. "I should have realised." He squeezed my hand sympathetically and stood up. "I will keep watch outside," he explained.

I followed Cadvan through the door and as he sat down, I sat next to him and leaned my head on his shoulder. He sat stiffly, but he let me rest there, and soon I found myself drifting off into sleep.

--

The next days were long and filled with an agony of walking, one step after another going on endlessly. When we started to climb the mountains, I explained to Cadvan that I had "heard tell" of a cave and tunnel system reaching right through the mountains. He said that we could search for it for two hours, but if we could not find it we would have to go on because he had little food. I tried to find a likely spot by memory of where Cadvan and Maerad had walked, and thankfully, just as we were nearing the second hour, Cadvan pointed out a small opening and asked calmly if that was what I was thinking of. The mountain lion was already there, and Cadvan spoke to it respectfully, and soon it had agreed to lead us through.

I love the dark, so I did not feel as oppressed as Cadvan, who expressed a longing for the bright, open air after only a few hours. Of course, the best bit was that we were forced to hold hands most of the time, which was great.

By the time we finally left the caves, our food supplies considerably depleted, I have to admit that even I was please to see the light of day. The light of night anyway. The stars twinkled liked diamonds and the whole landscape was dark, pinpricks of light caught and reflected in tiny drops of dew.

Cadvan turned to me with a wide smile, deep shadows cast across his face in the gloom. "Behold the beauty of Annar!" he cried. "Have you memories of it?"

I smiled a little and shook my head. "I rarely went outside the walls of Pellinor," I explained, seeing the tears glinting in his eyes.

"Then you will be happy to see Innail," Cadvan proclaimed cheerfully, letting go my hand and striding forwards. "It truly is beautiful."

His grin was infectious, and it did not fade from either of our faces as I fell into step beside him. "Oh, how I have missed mushrooms!" he sighed. "And roast vegetables, too. Proper bread!"

"Cakes!" I joined in enthusiastically, though I had been without proper food for far less time than he.

"How much further?" I grumbled after my enthusiasm had lessened.

"Two hours, or thereabouts," Cadvan replied. "Not too long."

I scoffed. "Not too long for you, maybe. Flippin' ages for me."

Cadvan told me regularly how long there was to go, mainly because if he didn't I would ask anyway, and at last he said, "You see that big gate there? That's Innail."

"That's not far at all," I said with a smile.

Cadvan rolled his eyes. "You can manage a league, then?"

"Of course," I replied, grinning.

As we arrived at the gate, Cadvan spoke to the gatekeeper, and he allowed us access, expressing surprise as Cadvan announced that I was from Pellinor.

And thus, I entered a School.

--

_Stay tuned for chapter 8, which will be like 3000 words xD_


	8. Innail 1

I've split this up into like 3 chapters. This first is still pretty long - over 2500 words! Tell me if you prefer it this length or the usual.

Thanks to xKiagax for helping me.

I am so looking forward to the Welcoming Feast!

--

_Reprise:_

As we arrived at the gate, Cadvan spoke to the gatekeeper, and he allowed us access, expressing surprise as Cadvan announced that I was from Pellinor.

And thus, I entered a School.

--

Cadvan took me through the gate and we met Malgorn; he and Cadvan embraced and Malgorn shook my hand warmly.

"It is good to meet someone of Pellinor," he said with a welcoming smile. "I thought everyone was killed."

"I wasn't. Almost everyone else was though." By this time we had reached Malgorn's door, and he held it open for Cadvan and I courteously. Showing us into a small, cosy room, he disappeared briefly to find his wife.

Cadvan grinned at me, his eyes twinkling. "It is good to find warmth and friends, is it not? It is a relief to have left the wilds behind."

"It's freezing out there," I agreed, stepping closer to the fire and warming my hands. I turned as Malgorn entered the room, carrying a tray. He handed Cadvan and I glasses of some peach-y clear liquid. I took a long sip and shivered in delight as warmth made its way right down to the tips of my toes. "Lovely," I said, licking my lips.

"I am glad to hear it," Malgorn replied. "It is a speciality of mine."

Footsteps sounded from the corridor, and a slightly plump woman entered the room.

"Cadvan!" she cried, and hurried to embrace him. "How good it is to see you. And I suppose this is Kayla?" she added, turning towards me. "Malgorn tells me you are of Pellinor?"

"Yes. But I was captured during the sacking, along with my mother, and Enkir sold us as slaves." All three jerked to attention at the name.

"Enkir of Norloch?" Cadvan asked sharply.

"I suppose," I replied, trying not to sound fake. "I think he was of Norloch, anyway."

"Kayla, that is a serious accusation," Malgorn said gravely. "What exactly are you saying?"

"Enkir rounded up the survivors, few as we were, and sold them for a pittance to a man called Gilman, as slaves."

"That is where I found her," Cadvan put in. "I have long though Enkir to be rather less than pure, and I am not alone in my suspicions, though few would speak out against him."

"Perhaps we should converse with Nelac more often," Malgorn suggested to Silvia in a whisper. His voice was so quiet I knew he had not meant me to hear.

There was a complatative silence. Then Silvia said, "Come, Kayla, let's get you cleaned up." I remembered the fact that I had not had a wash in ages and refrained from taking offence. "You need feeding up, as well. Aren't you thin!" I grinned, pleased, ignoring the fact that she had not really meant it as a compliment. It may not be a good thing in this time, but I thought it was pretty damned cool.

"Why are you never sympathetic about _my _thinness?" Cadvan demanded.

"You have always been thin, Cadvan," Silvia replied mildly, guiding me out of the room. "Malgorn, stop talking to the poor man and show him to his room," she instructed over her shoulder.

"How long have you been with Malgorn?" I asked.

"Oh, we were childhood sweethearts," Silvia replied fondly. "We parted for a while when we were in our twenties, because we weren't sure of our feelings, but when we saw each other a few years later we realised how much we loved each other. He proposed to me on my thirtieth Nameday."

"That's really sweet," I said with a smile. "Was it really romantic?"

"He gave me a bouquet of flowers, and inside one of them was a ring." Her voice was slightly shaky with emotion.

"I hope Nathan proposes to me," I said almost to myself.

"You are together?" Silvia asked as she pushed open a door to reveal what I assumed was to be my room for the time being.

"Yeah, I've been with him for just over three years."

"Why did you leave him?" she asked gently.

"What do you mean?"

"Was he not a slave also? I thought you had left without him…"

_Cripes, what a mess I__'__ve got myself into. _"He isn't a slave, he's…a wanderer…" I invented. "He comes to the Cot every full moon and we speak through the fence. Please don't tell anybody, I don't want anybody to find him. He's on the run from Hulls because he stole a child from them."

Silvia looked at me a little blankly for a moment, then visibly shook herself and said, "This is your room. There is a bath through there; you may bathe as you wish. I will send you something to eat in a little while, and I suppose Cadvan will want to speak to you also. I will see you in the morning. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I echoed as she bustled away down the corridor.

I turned to look at my room and set Maerad's lyre down on the bed. It felt strange to own so little. After living in the 21st Century, I had grown used to having everything on hand. I missed my computer like hell.

After taking a leisurely bath, I returned to find a plate of food, being held by Cadvan, who was examining the lyre closely. He looked up at me as I entered and said, "I have been ordered to make you eat this before you go to bed," he told me cheerfully. "Silvia's orders. I should not refuse; she is rather more forceful than she appears," he added, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

I giggled and picked up an apple, making sure that my towel was securely around me as I bit into it with a crunch.

"I will leave you to get dressed," Cadvan said, standing.

As he made for the door I said, "You can stay I you like, just turn around."

He regarded me carefully for a moment, the shrugged minutely and turned his back to me. As we spoke, I dressed into the knee-length, light-weight beige nightdress that Silvia (I assumed) had laid out for me.

"Now Kayla, I am unsure as to what to do with you. I have a long way to travel, but I do not wish to simply leave you here. To my mind, it was more than simple chance that caused me to find you."

"I'd like to go with you," I said immediately. "It's been kinda fun on the way here. We could have an adventure."

Cadvan gave a soft laugh. "I hardly think 'adventure' is quite the right word, but it would be nice for you to see Norloch. That is where I am headed."

"Nice. You can turn around now," I added as I picked up a brush, fully dressed now. I looked down at the dress dispassionately. "I will get my own clothes back, won't I?" I checked unhappily.

"In due course," Cadvan replied. "I was thinking that I could ask a friend of mine, Indik, to teach you some sword craft. Though you seem to have managed perfectly well on your own," he added ironically.

"Cool. Hey, could you introduce me to some of your friends here? If we're going to be here a while I'd like to meet them." I really meant Dernhil, but I could hardly mention his name.

"If you want," Cadvan agreed. "Silvia tells me there is a Meet tomorrow. It was going to be a few days ago, but many Bards have been delayed due to enormous storms, and it is tomorrow instead. The Welcoming Feast is in the evening, and I shall introduce you to some people then. Dernhil, I know, will be there. It is a long time since I have seen him."

"Thank you," I said sweetly, and hugged Cadvan tightly. He seemed surprised at first, but returned my embrace.

--

I awoke late the next morning in a vague panic at the fact that I was not at home. Looking to the side of my bed, I saw Silvia sat on a chair.

"Good morning, my sweet," she said. "I am glad you have woken up; I was just about to go. I wanted somebody to be here when you woke up. First, I am going to let you get dressed and have something to eat, then I will show you the dress I have found for you for the Welcoming Feast. You have the rest of the day to do as you wish."

True to her word, Silvia first found me a simple white dress and some breakfast, and then took a baby blue dress out of the wardrobe in my room.

"It used to be my daughter's," she said. "I would like you to wear it."

It was Maerad's dress! Except it wasn't really hers of course, because she wasn't here. I grinned at it and ran my hand down the beautiful material. I cocked my head on one side and narrowed my eyes at it thoughtfully.

"Could I change it a little?" I asked Silvia.

"How little?" Silvia questioned apprehensively.

"Well…quite a lot," I admitted.

Silvia thought for a moment, obviously trying to decide if it would really be such a bad thing if her daughter's dress was changed. "Alright then," she said quietly, and I grinned.

"Thanks," I said sincerely. I knew what I was doing; I had taken textiles for A-level, and came out with an A, so I was quite good at modifying dresses. "Could I have some scissors, some thread, and so on?"

"I'll send some up for you," Silvia replied. "But now, I must go. Cadvan is in the garden, should you wish to speak to him."

"Okay, thanks."

I spent the rest of the day cutting and sewing, and by the time Cadvan came up several hours later I realised I had eaten nothing but was buzzing with excitement.

"What are you so pleased about?" he asked, grinning back at me.

"My dress," I replied smugly. "I made a lot of it myself."

"Well, make sure you get dressed into it. I will wait for you outside." He went to wait outside my door and I put on the dress, shaking slightly with excitement. I have made quite a few dresses, but this was my favourite.

After fixing my hair and rummaging through a drawer to find a silver necklace, I went outside to meet Cadvan. As he turned, he looked over the dress, the low neckline, the tight bodice, the skirt which positively bounced and ended just above my knees. I saw him swallow and grinned harder.

"That's…a very nice dress, Kayla," he said haltingly. He paused. "Is it not a little short?"

"We always wore dresses like this in Pellinor," I replied breezily. "Come on, let's go down and join the party."

This was going to be so much fun. I bounced along next to Cadvan and he raised an eyebrow at me. "You look just like a spring lamb," he told me. "It isn't all that exciting; just a feast. I hate them myself, having to put on an act all of the time."

I shrugged cheerfully. "I love food!" Cadvan smiled softly at me and offered his arm, which I took, as we entered the hall. "Oh my God, it looks amazing!" I said excitedly. The hall was a large room with rich red walls and deep blue hangings; hundreds of lights hanging from the ceiling and twinkling like stars; people already milling around the long tables.

"Kayla, this is my good friend Dernhil of Gent," I heard Cadvan say, and tore my eyes away from the beautiful sights to see a gorgeous man with sparkling eyes and dark hair.

"Hello, Kayla," he said, his warm voice settling gently on my ears like rain. "Well met. I hope we may be friends." Just as I was noting the exact way his eyes crinkled up at the corners when he smiled, I realised that he had his hand out for me to shake.

"Hi," I managed weakly, trying to smile without looking like an idiot and somehow coordinate shaking his hand at the same time. I saw his eyes drift appreciatively down my body and blushed.

"We must find our places," Cadvan said, taking my elbow. "Will you sit with us, Dernhil?"

"Of course," Dernhil replied.

By the time we were seated, Saliman had joined us also, and the four of us sat speaking for a short time until Oron stood up and greeted everybody. Cadvan then took to the stage, and his singing was just as beautiful as described in The Gift. When he had finished his song, Cadvan met my eyes and beckoned me onto the stage. To my horror, he met me coming off the stage - he was expecting me to go up there on my own!

"You must sing for everyone," he whispered, and I vowed that I would wipe that grin off of his face the moment I was finished. I climbed up the last step onto the stage and surveyed the faces staring up at me. The biggest audience I'd had before was my shower bottles.

"Oh, crap crap crap…" I muttered. "Um, hi," I said a little louder. Why was my voice so squeaky? I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and began to sing my favourite song.

_Spend all your time waiting, for that second chance,_

_For a break that would make it okay._

_There__'__s always some reason, to feel not good enough,_

_And it__'__s hard at the end of the day._

_I need some distraction, oh, beautiful release,_

_Memories seep from my veins._

_Let me be empty, oh, and weightless and maybe,_

_I__'__ll find some peace tonight__…_

I continued through the verses, not daring to open my eyes. As I finished the song, a rapturous applause broke out, and I opened my eyes in some surprise. Everybody was clapping. For me. I broke into an embarrassed smile and escaped from the stage as quickly as I could, returning to sit next to Cadvan.

"Even I did not realise how talented you were," Cadvan said, while Dernhil watched me with open admiration in his eyes. "Though you must tell me, what is an angel?"

"Umm…they are a being which takes the souls of the dead to the Gates safely."

"I have not heard of them," Saliman said.

"I think they are unique to Pellinor," I replied. "They were never particularly famous."

The others nodded vaguely, and soon the topic turned.

Several times, I thought Dernhil was watching me, and at the end of the Meet he took my hand and said softly, "I wonder if you would like to have lunch with me tomorrow? Cadvan will show you where to go, if you will accept."

"Not doing anything, am I?" I checked with Cadvan.

"I suppose not. You will have little to do in the mornings, so it would be good if you had somebody to speak with. Indik has agreed to teach you in the afternoons. I will show you to Dernhil's room if you wish."

I thanked him, and Dernhil said goodbye. I watched him go a little sadly.

-

Review please, and tell me while you're at it if you prefer chapters of this length or the usual x

Oh and the song is Angel by Sarah McLachlan.


	9. Innail 2

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS RATED T/M FOR SEXUAL CONTENT AND STRONG LANGUAGE. If you don't wish to read it, go to the bottom of the page and I'll explain what happened in this chapter. I have not changed the overall rating since it is only this chapter, but please be aware!**

**(It's still K up to the first double hyphen - you know, my page breaks. Like the one just below this. I'm still gonna tell you what happens in it at the end though, just in case.)**

--

The next day, as he had promised, Cadvan took me to Dernhil's chambers at the mid bell. He seemed to be in a great hurry, and left me at the end of the corridor. "I have some duties to attend to, but I will return in two hours as you have a lesson with Indik. Goodbye."

I thanked him and went to knock on Dernhil's door. "Come in!" I heard him say, and pushed open the door to see him coming to meet me. The room was covered in books on every surface. "You look beautiful today, Kayla," he said. "Do you look this beautiful every day?" he added, his eyes twinkling as he took a pile of books off of a chair and pulled it out for me.

"It's a talent," I teased, posing jokily.

Dernhil smiled and sat next to me. "Quite a talent it is," he replied, and his low voice made my stomach flip. I swallowed and smiled into his eyes. Dernhil met my eyes for a moment before leaning forwards to take the cover off a large dish. "It is but simple fare," he said - "but tasty." I surveyed the spread of fresh bread, cheese and an assortment of fruit and smiled at him reassuringly, meeting his slightly worried gaze.

"It looks lovely," I reassured him, laying a hand on his arm, and picked up a piece of bread.

We spoke as we ate, then moved to his other room where he had a comfortable sofa. Sitting there together, we laughed a lot, but after a while we lapsed into silence. I looked around the room awkwardly, trying to think of something to say, when I felt Dernhil turn my face towards him, and he kissed me on the lips. As he drew away I kissed him back, tangling my fingers in his hair as we kissed strongly. Dernhil pushed me backwards gently so I was lying back against the sofa, with him suspended above me.

The door opened, and footsteps walked in. Dernhil leapt off me and I sat up quickly to see Cadvan standing in the door, his face going pink. "My apologies," he said hastily. "I came to tell you that it is time for your lesson, Kayla. I'll…wait outside." He shot out of the door and Dernhil smiled at me sheepishly.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Kayla," he said. "At the third bell?"

I nodded and he kissed me on the lips again. My knees went weak as I walked away, and I tried desperately not to wobble. I let the grin I had been trying to hide take over my face as I got to Cadvan, under the excuse that I was greeting him.

"Kayla, I must advise caution," Cadvan said softly. "Dernhil is an old friend but he has the passionate heart of a poet. When he believes he loves somebody he will not be dissuaded." I had a sudden flash of understanding: Dernhil had loved Ceredin. That had been part of the reason for Cadvan and Dernhil's rivalry, though I imagined that Dernhil had never made a move. "Though he is mostly sensible, I have to say that I believe he loves your…" He faltered here for the first time and coughed, embarrassed - "your body more than he loves your heart."

I considered this for a moment, and shrugged. "Thanks for your concern, but I can look after myself," I replied, trying not to sound too icy.

"Of course," Cadvan replied. "But I thought I would warn you all the same."

Wow…this was a situation I never thought I'd be in. Dernhil in the books was portrayed as noble and kind; did he have some past we had never been informed of? Though by today's standards, he was still remarkably restrained.

That afternoon, I spent hours with Indik learning sword craft, at which it seemed I was rather good. I was still dreadful compared to Indik, but I did end the session feeling much more competent than I had when I started. Then Indik dropped the bombshell.

"We'll start on the horseriding tomorrow."

"Horseriding?" I echoed weakly. Being born in the city, my only experience with horses was donkeys at the beach stepping on my toes. I had forgotten that they were the main method of transport here (how I managed this I have no idea).

"Yes, my girl. Do you not know how to?"

"No…I don't really like horses all that much."

Indik scowled. "We'll start on the horseriding tomorrow," he repeated. "Perhaps you will need more of it than the sword craft. You're not bad for a beginner."

I took this as the highest praise (which, coming from him, it was) and smiled. "Thanks."

I took my leave of him shortly, and limped towards dinner. I think I was less hurt than Maerad had been, but I still had many minor cuts and bruises.

"How was your lesson?" Cadvan asked me as I sat down next to him in the hall with a large bowl of vegetable broth.

"Painful," I said. "But good. Indik said I wasn't bad for a beginner."

Cadvan lifted one eyebrow in surprise. "High praise indeed," he noted.

"That's what I thought," I agreed, tucking into the broth.

--

My lessons with Indik progressed steadily, my sword craft improving drastically and my riding…well, the less said the better. Suffice it to say, Indik's ruthless teaching managed to bully me into some vague form of competence. I was never going to be any good, but if I set my horse behind Cadvan's I would be able to stay on…just.

My time with Dernhil, however, was much more enjoyable. About a week after we had arrived, I went to see him a few hours later than usual because I had slept in, and the moment he opened the door I started kissing him passionately. He kicked the door closed behind us as he cupped my face in his hands, caressing my cheeks slowly. I tangled my fingers in his hair and he pushed me back against the door.

I let my hands drift down his chest and Dernhil picked me up bridal-style without breaking our lip contact and carried me over to his sofa. He laid me down on it and kissed his way around to my neck, making me gasp. Dernhil's hands roamed over my body, causing my stomach to leap. I could feel him against me and ran my hands down his chest and his stomach, veering off onto his thighs, teasing him.

He groaned softly, kissing me harder. I pulled his shirt over his head; he moved my dress out of the way and pulled it up further. He struggled with the fastenings at the back, but managed to pull it over my head so that I was laid underneath him with only my modern underwear to hide in. Dernhil pulled away for an instant and looked over my body so hungrily I shuddered. "You're beautiful," he growled into my ear, before scraping his teeth over the flesh then kissing it gently.

I reached for the front of his trousers, haste making me clumsy as I tried to undo the buckle, then pulled his trousers down over his hips and suddenly he left off the delicious things he was doing to my ear and stilled, breathing heavily. "Kayla, we can't," he said roughly. "We're not married, we're not even together. I barely know you. Kayla, I'm sorry, but I don't even know you well enough to love you. I fear that it is only lust I feel." He watched me sadly to see how I would take this news.

Ignoring the insecure voice in my mind that was wondering how he had loved Maerad and yet could feel only lust for me, I said, "So what? We're both consenting adults. We know what we're doing. It's our own choice."

For a moment, he looked tempted, and for a long moment I thought he would give in, for he started kissing me again, trailing his lips down my chest - then he stopped himself and stood up. "I can't do that to you, Kayla. I can't…destroy your life like that. No one would want you if…"

I just sat and stared at him for a moment. I had guessed that they would be more uptight about this sort of thing, but I hadn't realised how much. I shrugged lightly and stood up. "Whatever," I muttered quietly, and pulled my dress on quickly, feeling crushed. He had loved Maerad, so why not me?

As I made for the door, Dernhil took my hand so gently that his touch was like a summer breeze. "I'm sorry for leading you on," he said softly. I paused with one hand on the doorknob, the other limp in his, looking down at the floor. I felt so empty, that he could feel nothing for me. A great, hot anger bubbled up inside of me to fill the void and I wrenched my hand away. I swore savagely at him and slammed out of the room.

Running down the corridor, tears began falling from my eyes. I could hardly think; I barely understood the crushing loneliness that was washing over me in painful waves. Sobs wrenched at my throat, choking me.

I ran blindly, somehow finding my way back to my room. I threw myself onto the bed. After muffling my sobs with the pillow, I started screaming "Why? Why?". Why had he loved Maerad and not me? Why wasn't I as good as her? Why couldn't he love me? Why had he led me to believe something could happen and then just drop me?

Silvia found me a few hours later, still relentlessly murmuring "Why?" into the pillow, and pulled me into a hug. I fought her off and hid my face in my knees.

"Kayla, what troubles you?" she asked softly.

"He doesn't love me," I whispered. "He doesn't love me."

"Who, my sweet?"

"Dernhil."

"But I thought you were already in love?"

"'S not the point," I murmured.

Silvia regarded me warily before standing up abruptly. "You are late for your lesson with Indik," she told me shortly. "I suggest you hurry." I watched her leave the room and realised she had very little respect for me. I don't think she even liked me.

This knowledge settled in my bones like heavy weights and slowed my reactions as I parried Indik's blows, and I got hurt more than usual. I thought Indik might let me go early, but he insisted I utilise my emotions - or at the very least ignore them. Maybe I could have, but all the fight had fled from my body, and I felt empty. My throat ached unbearably.

After about an hour, Indik pushed his sword into the ground and stood glaring at me. "It is clear you are having problems using your emotions. Now, think about who it is that has caused you hurt. Nothing else, just that person's face." _Dernhil. His soft lips. His gorgeous eyes. _"Focus your mind. Think about the things you've done for them." _Very little, but I thought he loved me._ "Now think about what they did to hurt you, how they betrayed you." His gruff voice made it easier to turn my hurt to anger. "You didn't do anything to deserve it, nothing. It's all their fault you got hit so many times. Now let's try it again." He picked up his sword again, and this time I fought with more gusto, and he didn't hit me once.

--

Dernhil opened the door and saw Kayla smiling at him. What was she doing here? He had thought she would never want to talk to him again. "K-Kayla," he stuttered in his surprise. "Er…What are you doing here?"

"Can't I talk to you?" she replied, shrugging her slender shoulders elegantly. "You said we couldn't…" Here she faltered for the first time. "But we can still be friends."

"Of course," he said, stepping back, and Kayla walked past him. This afforded him the full view of her short dress. "Kayla, you do remember what I said?"

"That you don't love me because you don't know me." Kayla took a step closer to him. "Well maybe we should spend some time together," she whispered, her lips an inch away from his.

"That's a very good idea," he answered hoarsely, but as he dipped his head to kiss her she turned, walking away and trailing her hand along the bookcase. He followed her dumbly into his other room. After watching her sit on the sofa, he sat next to her. "So do you want to talk about something?" he asked, stroking her fingers.

"Who wants to talk?" she murmured, brushing a kiss against his lips.

"Alright, no talking," he agreed breathlessly. How could he be expected to resist when she was so irresistible? He began kissing her with just his lips, slowly but strongly. To his surprise, after just a moment Kayla pulled away.

"Get off me you bastard," she hissed, and pushed him away. "You fell in love with Maerad, why couldn't you just fall in love with me like you were supposed to?"

"Wait, who's Maerad? I don't know any Maerads."

"Umm. It doesn't matter. She's just…I just…She really liked you. I really like you. Why am I so much worse than her? You were just leading me on, you'll get it with whoever you can." Kayla stalked out of the room. She paused at the doorway and said, "Do not ever speak to me again."

Dernhil nodded. He looked shocked as he watched Kayla leave the room.

Kayla had thought that now Maerad had gone, the Nameless One would not send hulls to question Dernhil. She forgot that the Nameless did not know that Maerad was the One, he just questioned Dernhil because she was of Pellinor.

And Kayla had said that she was of Pellinor too.

The Nameless One was hunting.

--

Okay, in this chapter…

In case you didn't read the first bit, here's what happened. Cadvan took Kayla to Dernhil's room. They had lunch, flirted a bunch and kissed, and Cadvan walked in mid-kiss. Dernhil invites Kayla back the next day. Cadvan warns Kayla that Dernhil can be…what's the word? Forceful? Basically, he might be using her. She's not bad at fighting but is scared of horses.

The second bit…She gets better at sword craft and manages to achieve some vague form of competence at horseriding. She goes to see Dernhil and they -ahem- "kiss" a lot. They nearly…ya know. Dernhil stops them and says he doesn't love her, Kayla gets all upset cuz she feels less important than Maerad. Silvia finds her crying and saying his name in her room and when Kayla tells her what's wrong she's disapproving because she knows about Nathan. She does pretty badly in her sword craft but Indik tells her to convert her emotions into anger and she gets better.

The third bit…She goes back, pretends she wants to get back with Dernhil but actually she gets back at him and says she never wants to see him again. I like the last bit - I think it's rather dramatic - so I'm gonna copy-paste it for you just in case:

Kayla had thought that now Maerad had gone, the Nameless One would not send hulls to question Dernhil. She forgot that the Nameless did not know that Maerad was the One, he just questioned her because she was of Pellinor.

And Kayla had said that she was of Pellinor too.

The Nameless One was hunting.

And that's it. Thanks for reading. I'd love a review but if not w/e. Bye-bye my lovelies, until next time x


	10. On The Road

Welcome to chapter 10 =)

I was going to get this to 2000 words but I got bored and I wanted to get it up today, so…

By the way, please check out the companion piece to this, written by my friend Pernicia. It explores what Maerad's getting up to in our world. I know she would love some reviews =) (second chapter now up) wwwDOTfanfictionDOTnet/s/4871690/1/Lost_Beyond_Croggon

--

Late that night, I was woken by Cadvan shaking me by the shoulders. I squinted up at him blearily and tried to smooth my hair down, as it looked as though I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards. He gave me my own clothes to wear, and I shivered as I pulled them on blindly. I was only vaguely listening to what Cadvan was saying, but I gathered that we were leaving that night. As I dragged a brush through my hair and pulled on my coat, Cadvan went downstairs to pick up some supplies.

When I was packed and ready, we went to the stables together to get our horses. Cadvan was to ride Darsor, as I had expected, but as Indik had been putting me on different horses the whole time - saying the experience was good for me - I had still to choose one. Indik suggested I ride a small, slim pony I'd been getting along with recently. She was an elegant white horse, and went by the name of Swift. I held out my hand to her nervously and she snuffled at my palm.

Indik watched me tack Swift up with a critical eye, and as I mounted I saw him give a tiny nod. I felt proud to have his approval. Cadvan rode in majestically on Darsor, and I couldn't help but laugh at my own inadequacy. I felt awkward and uncomfortable atop my mount, but Cadvan and Darsor looked as though they were an extension of a single being.

"Are you certain you wish to come with me?" Cadvan asked for the tenth time. "Our road will be long and hard, and there will be no turning back once we start."

"I'm sure," I assured him. "Just go already!" He flashed me a grin and Darsor moved off. The hooves of our mounts clattered noisily on the ground as we left the stables for the open road.

I was annoyed by having to leave in the middle of the night, without even a proper sleep, but I thanked my lucky stars that it wasn't raining as well. That didn't, however, stop me from wanting to kill him.

Just two hours out of Innail, Cadvan stopped us at the very same inn in which he and Maerad had stopped.

"Let's pretend we're lovers," I giggled to him, remembering what the innkeeper had inferred about he and Maerad travelling together. It felt strange to say 'lovers', but I knew it was the word he would understand.

Cadvan regarded me with amusement as we approached the inn. "It would certainly give us a due reason for discretion," he noted with a smile. "And though Grall would keep our secret either way, I think it would be no bad thing if he had a ready story for people who came asking."

I couldn't hide my grin as I watched him trying to rouse the innkeeper, feeling somehow closer to him now that we shared a secret joke. As he caught my expression, he winked, and I was struck yet again by how good-looking he was.

Grall opened the door for us at last, and his grumpy expression was replaced by a smile as he saw Cadvan.

"What brings you here tonight a-travelling?" he asked, after he had settled us into our room. For some reason, though there had been rooms to spare in the Gift, there was only one room for us.

"We make our way to Lirigon," Cadvan lied smoothly. "It is a long time since I have been there, and I would like my beautiful girl to see it." He said this last with a twinkle in his eye as he took my hand. Grall's eyes flickered from Cadvan to me and back again. I could almost see the penny drop.

"Aye, I see," he replied, in a voice which assured us that he had taken the bait.

"We would appreciate a little discretion," Cadvan continued. "Some people are a little too nosy for my liking." I rested my head on Cadvan's shoulder, stifling a smirk as Grall agreed with a wink.

I listened to them speaking about rumours then started getting bored and my eyes began to droop with tiredness. How to get rid of him? I raised my head and looped my arms around Cadvan's neck.

"I'm really tired," I said sweetly, daring to plant a kiss on his lips and nearly fainting with fangirl excitement. _Might as well go the whole hog,_ I thought, _I'm not going to get any other chances._ "Let's go to bed, darling," I said, before kissing him deeply.

Grall took the hint and left the room faster than a rabbit presented with a wer. The moment he was safely out of earshot I collapsed into laughter.

"Did you see his face when you called me _my beautiful girl?_" I cackled.

Cadvan chuckled with me, but after a while he said, "Come, Kayla, we should get some sleep." His eyes swept over the one bed. "I'll sleep on the floor," he offered gallantly, but I told him not to be stupid and to get in, which he did. I lay on my back at first, but soon the urge to laugh out loud at the absurdity of the situation overcame me and I had to turn away from him to hide my grin.

I was sharing a bed with Cadvan! Me, sharing bed, with Cadvan.

I listened to his breathing, which sounded so different to Nathan's, and realised with a shock that I had hardly thought of my boyfriend since speaking about him with Silvia. He'd been distant lately, and I was worried that he was thinking of leaving me. The prospect of it felt as though I was dangling over a large cliff, so I closed my eyes against the thoughts and slept.

--

Nothing of interest happened to us until the next day, when the sun was high in the sky, though a chill still lingered in the air.

We were riding away from the second inn when a black raven flew down in front of us. Cadvan pulled up Darsor and I felt an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew who this raven was. I knew what he was going to say.

"Hail, Lord Cadvan," it said in a man's voice.

"Hail, Lord Kargan," Cadvan replied. "What brings you here?"

"Evil tidings. I come from the Lady Silvia, who bade me tell you this. Last night, two Hulls entered the School of Innail. They tried the door of the House of Malgorn and Silvia, but the ward repulsed them. Then they questioned Dernhil of Gent." The raven paused for just a moment as Cadvan watched it grimly. "Alas, Dernhil told them what they wanted."

"Is he alive?" Cadvan asked in a quiet voice.

"Most thankfully, he is. Dernhil called for Malgorn and Silvia in his mind, and the Hulls left."

Cadvan closed his eyes for a second. "I am glad to hear that Dernhil is safe, though I am sorely displeased to hear that the Hulls may know of us."

"Dernhil asked me to give you this," Kargan continued. He flew up to stand on Darsor's withers and held out his leg. I saw that there was a small piece of paper attached to it, which Cadvan removed.

"My thanks, Lord Kargan," he said respectfully. "You have done much, but I seek your help still. We neeed to pass through the Innail Let, and I know not if the Dark has gathered its spies there. It may be yet unwatched, but in the light of last nights events, I think it more likely not. I would be grateful if you could fly there, and tell me what you see."

The bird fixed Cadvan again with its unblinking stare.

"I will be happy to do this thing," it said, and we watched it fly away.

As we continued along the road, I began to wonder why Dernhil had given up. The only conclusion I could come to was how I had upset him, but did he feel no loyalty to Cadvan? Perhaps he had expected he, Malgorn and Silvia would have been able to stop the Hulls. Perhaps he knew Cadvan would get around the problem anyway. Perhaps he was simply too scared to die for a friend he hadn't seen in years and a virtual stranger who had slapped him.

Whatever the reason, they knew who we were and probably where we were going. For some reason, I thought back to the inn we had stopped in the first night. Why had there been less rooms? And then the answer hit me.

Because there had been hulls in the other. We had stayed in the same inn as two hulls and not even realised. The thought made me feel sick, nausea rising up in the back of my throat. We had been so close to them and felt nothing. They must have strong shields to hide themselves. I shuddered, a cold chill making its way down my back.

--

Thank you for reading. Reviews would be gratefully received.


	11. The Prophecy

Special shout-outs to Kiaga, my beta, and Fallen-Petals, who gave me the motivation to finish this chapter. Thanks guys, I love you both.

--

Cadvan looked at the paper in his hand; I saw his eyes moving as he read something.

"What does it say?" I asked.

"_I, Lanorgil of Pellinor, here set down my dream, so that those to come may know of it when I have gone through the Gates to the Uncircled Open._" I knew these words so well. As he read them I thought I heard a trace of another voice, one that was weak and rasping.

"_A mist obscures the bright river, a mist on which no eye can fasten its sight, a mist which confuses the brave, and casts down the weak in fear and trembling. All is in Darkness and despair: corruption assails the High Seats of Annar, and those who truly follow the Light are cast into shadow._" My stomach swooped, as it always did when I read that part. All the suffering in this world…

"_Seek then one who comes Speechless from the Mountains: a Bard unSchooled and yet of this School. Seek and cherish the Fire Lily, the Fated One, which blooms the fairer in dark places, and sleepeth long in darkness; from such a root will blossom the White Flame anew, when it seems its seed is poisoned in the centre. Note the Sign and be not Blind! _Then it goes on to say the year and so on. It is about six hundred years old."

I knew this. Knew who the prophecy was talking about. But perhaps it could be me? There was no way to get Maerad back, so I would have to play her part.

"Dernhil has written at the bottom that he thinks this may apply to you," Cadvan went on. "Though it seems unlikely. You are well Schooled, after all, even if you have been in that place so long." He looked closely at me for a long minute. "It does not _feel_ like you," he said uncertainly after a while. "My Knowing tells me that it is not."

He said nothing more, pondering the words, occasionally looking back at the me. In the end he tucked it away into his cloak, and soon I saw Kargan on the horizon, his wings stretched out magnificently. He landed on Cadvan's arm.

"I have asked the creatures," Kargan said. "And they tell me that two Dark ones passed this way three nights ago." He paused, as though he regretted having to say his next words. "And there is a Hull and a group of wers there now."

Cadvan sighed heavily. "This is ill news. I think it will not be long before others come…Thank you, Lord Kargan. I shall ever be in your debt. Tell the Lady Silvia that all is well, that we shall soon be out of the Innail Fesse." The raven took off for the last time, and Cadvan turned to me as I wondered why he had lied.

"No sense in worrying them unnecessarily," he explained. "The Dark is now at our very heels, and we must hurry. Already we are outnumbered, and it will be hard to escape. You must make use of that new sword. Swift, _esterine ni_?"

Swift snorted and stretched out her neck, and then the four of us were off at a full gallop. We must have looked glorious, the proud black stallion and the pure white mare, racing like bullets down the road.

--

We could only go at full speed for a short time, and when we had slowed to a trot something occurred to me.

"Cadvan," I began, my voice jerking as I sat clumsily to Swift's trot. "Are we going to die?"

Cadvan said nothing for a moment, and I was about to repeat myself when he turned to me grimly and said "Quite possibly." I stared at him for a long moment after he had turned away. I might die today. What would happen to me back home, I wondered again. It was bad enough not knowing how to get home, but if I died here I would never go back. I wondered if Nathan would even miss me - ever since my birthday he'd been acting strange. Distant. I could never quite connect with him, no matter how hard I tried. I was sure he was going to leave me soon. I must have said something to upset him on that day, but I couldn't really remember what had happened.

Before I could dwell on the matter further, Cadvan motioned for us to slow down and I looked up to see…nothing.

"I sense the Dark about this place," he explained softly, and an iron fist clamped hold of my insides. He muttered something and the sound of the horses' hooves on the road became suddenly almost silent. "Draw your sword," he said. "You will need it."

I did as he said and strained my ears and eyes for any sign. The way was quiet, painfully so. No birds sang in the bushes close by; it was eerily still.

The peace was shattered as quickly as a bullet and suddenly there were black shapes all around, trying to kill us both. I hacked at them with my sword, imagining each one as my stepfather, allowing the anger to take me over as Indik had said. _Channel and control it,_ he had said.

A black flash whooshed past me, and suddenly there were black and white bolts of light everywhere. I concentrated on the wers, ducking bolts which came too close. Swift shied away from a wer as it flew into her face, black claws outstretched. She threw up her head, dancing uneasily. I squeezed with my knees, praying she would not decide to bolt down the road.

My arm began to ache from holding my sword so high, and the wer's dark blood spattered over everything. One of them tore at my left arm so hard I thought I would be lifted bodily from Swift and carried away, but I stabbed it with my sword and it drenched me with blood as it fell to the ground. Another one flew right at my head and I shuddered as dark wings flapped in my face.

The bolts of black lightning stopped all of a sudden, and soon the air became. I looked around us, feeling dazed, and saw at least twenty wer corpses laid out on the ground.

"Kayla, you were magnificent," Cadvan said, turning to me.

"Thanks," I wheezed back, and pulled out my inhaler.

"Did you kill the Hull?" I asked when I could breathe again, trying not to be sick as I saw how covered I was in inky black blood.

Cadvan nodded, looking regretful, and waited for me to catch my breath before saying, "We had better go, and fast."

--

"I'm sooooo tired," I groaned, as Cadvan finally called us to a halt. Cadvan and I had travelled hard all that day, not stopping until well after sun-down. We made camp in a copse of trees by the side of the road. Cadvan was not happy with the arrangement, saying that it would be blatantly obvious where we had stopped. I asked him if he would rather sit out in the open for anyone to pick us off, and he went quiet.

We sat leaning against two trees for a short while, talking of Schools and the Light and other such things. After a while, Cadvan stood up and offered a hand to pull me up.

"It is time for sleep," he said, once I was standing. "I will take the first watch. I will wake you in a while." He dropped a kiss onto my cheek. "Goodnight, Kayla."

I tried to stifle a smile, and turned away to hide a blush, mumbling, "'Night…" I lay down under my blankets and watched Cadvan, whose head was bowed slightly. His features were slightly shadowed, but it didn't matter. He was still so good-looking it made me question how I could have become used to it.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next thing I was aware of was Cadvan waking me to go on watch.

"Wake up, sleepyhead," he said.

"Shut up," I snapped back. "We've walked _miles_. I can't help being tired."

"Peace, Kayla," he replied. "It was no criticism."

I sat up reluctantly, keeping the blankets around me to ward off the chill. Watching Cadvan settle down, I wondered if he really went to sleep as fast as he appeared to, or if he lay with his eyes closed even though he was awake.

I was sure I could feel eyes on me. I shuddered and looked about me into the darkness. I was sure that somebody was watching me, keeping just out of sight. I would think I could see some movement, but as I turned my head it would disappear. The air was too close, the night too dark. I dismissed it as paranoia, telling myself not to be so stupid.

I loved being a Bard. These were bad times, with Hulls travelling freely and other creatures of the Dark increasing in number and strength; but how could one appreciate the good times if not for the bad? A candle on a sunny day cannot be seen, but a candle in the dead of night brings light and hope to all.

Despite the current dangerous lands, I wanted to travel with Cadvan forever. I looked up at the sky and picked a star. "Please let me travel with Cadvan until I am old and grey and have to follow him in a wheelchair," I whispered, touching the spot on my cheek where he had kissed me. I wondered how he had meant it; as a father to a daughter, as a brother to a sister, or as a lover? I glanced behind me at his slumbering face and smiled. That man had kissed me. Without ulterior motive, without prompting. It was a long time since a man had kissed me.

I felt a vague uneasiness somewhere between my heart and my stomach, and wondered at its origins. I supposed it was from the same source as the feeling of being watched, which was still prickling at the back of my neck. I ran my fingers over the short hairs there, which were on end, hoping to lessen the feeling.

However, the feeling of being watched continued all night, and even when the sun came up so that I could see that there was nobody around. Eventually, I woke Cadvan and we had breakfast. I didn't tell him about my misgivings - I didn't want him to think I was paranoid.

After breakfast, Cadvan gave me a leg-up onto Swift's back. When I was sat astride her, he guided my foot into the stirrup, and stood looking up at me. I didn't even realise until I had picked up my reins and looked down at him to see why he was still holding my ankle.

"What?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I was just working out how long it would take to get to Norloch," he said, letting go of my ankle and vaulting onto Darsor. I watched him as he tightened Darsor's girth and set off. He avoided my eyes.

--

Here ends chapter 11. I know it ends kind of abruptly but I'm not in the mood to drag up 100 more words I'll hate.

Thanks to all my reviewers. I really do love you loads and it means a lot that you take the time to review.


	12. Staring

As it's been such a long time since I last updated, I begin this chapter with a reminder of all that has gone on throughout this story.

_Chapter one: Kayla reading the Gift, introducing her and her boyfriend Nathan. Kayla and Maerad swapped places, Kayla going into Gilman's Cot and Maerad coming into our world (to hear what she's been getting up to, read Pernicia's wonderful fic here: fanfictionDOTnet/s/4871690/1/Lost_Beyond_Croggon).  
Chapter two: She meets Cadvan and drags him straight out on their way.  
Chapter three: She realises Cadvan was veerryy weak because he collapses.  
Chapter four: She drags him out of the valley and he recovers. She sings the Treesong for him.  
Chapter five: Cadvan scries Kayla and, to her surprise, finds her to be who she says she is. We find out that Kayla has asthma.  
Chapter six: They fight the wers and win.  
Chapter seven: They make their way through the cave/tunnel and arrive at Innail.  
Chapter eight: Kayla tells Cadvan, Malgorn and Silvia about Pellinor and Enkir; tells Silvia about Nathan; hears about how Silvia and Malgorn got together. They go to the Welcoming Feast and Kayla meets Dernhil. She sings for everybody at the Feast and agrees to meet Dernhil the next day.  
Chapter nine: She meets Dernhil for lunch and they both flirt like mad. Cadvan comes in to find them kissing and warns Kayla to be careful. She does sword craft with Indik and is quite good, but is bad at horseriding. Dernhil and Kayla nearly -ahem- you know, but Dernhil stops them and says he doesn't love her. Silvia finds her depressed and crying in her room. She gets her own back on Dernhil by leading him on and then shouting at him.  
Chapter ten: They leave Innail and spend the night in an Inn where they pretend to be 'lovers'. They find out that Dernhil was questioned by hulls but is still alive.  
Chapter eleven: They read the prophecy about The One. They fight a hull and some wers. Cadvan and Kayla have a 'moment'. (tis sweet :P)_

And now, on with the story.

--

That day, Cadvan's thoughts were mixed. Most of the time, his thoughts were rational as he thought of the road to Norloch, the inns they would stay at, where they would pick up food and how long it would take them. But sometimes Kayla would look right at him and he forgot their journey to Norloch, and started enjoying the ride for its own sake. He felt as though he could let go with Kayla, feeling comfortable in a way he rarely did with other people.

"Cadvan," Kayla said quietly, when they had stopped for lunch. Early that morning they had entered a small forest, and now sat in a small clearing. "I'm sorry about Ceredin."

Cadvan felt himself stiffen involuntarily. "How do you know about that?" he asked in a level voice. There was a calmness to his voice he did not feel; at her words, his stomach had tensed and a chill had overcome him.

"I just…know," she replied uncertainly.

"But you can't know that," he whispered, a trace of desperation leaking out into my voice.

"Why not?" she asked gently.

"Because I'm sick of having people hate me for what I did. I thought you might be one person, just one person, I could be normal with. One person who didn't think I should have died when I was young. One person who doesn't secretly hope I'd die now."

--

I actually forgot to breathe. The guilt and self-hatred this man had was incredible. "What about Silvia and Malgorn? What about Dernhil? They love you."

His face twisted into a bitter smile. "They loved Ceredin more than they could ever love me, Kayla. They still hate me for killing her, I can see it in their eyes sometimes."

For a brief moment I couldn't decide whether to kiss him or slap him. "You're wrong," I told him bluntly. "They all love you so much. The only person who hates you for it is yourself! It was an _accident_ and it was years and years ago and if you don't start getting over it I'm gonna ride off and leave you here on your own."

He took hold of my hand. "Don't," he implored quietly.

"I'll only fall off anyway," I quipped with a grin.

Cadvan ran his thumb slowly along mine and I fought the urge to snog him. "Let's go," he said gently. "We shouldn't stay in one place for too long." His body language was quiet as he mounted Darsor.

"There's a bardhome to stay in tonight," Cadvan murmured. I looked at him carefully and came to the conclusion that he was actually trying not to isolate himself. That was surprising.

"That's good," I said.

"Yes," he replied.

"Wow, gripping conversation," I said sarcastically.

Cadvan smiled. "Highly entertaining," he agreed. "Back to the topic at hand," he added pointedly, "I think we will get there a little before dark, so we will be able to have a bit of a rest, though I do not like to tarry. There is even a stream there for us to wash in."

"Luxury itself," I muttered darkly. The thought of washing in a stream was not a good one, but when the alternative was to stay covered in muck - largely wer blood - I would take anything.

"Were you treated very badly in that place?" Cadvan asked suddenly.

"In the Cot?" I thought back to my old life. "Yes."

"If you ever want to talk about it…"

And so I told him - I told him everything, all about my life. The context was a little different, but the content was the same. The only other person I'd ever told everything to was what's-his-name - Nathan, that was it. I could barely remember him…perhaps I hadn't seen him in a long time - he was probably a counsellor or something.

I spoke for a long time. Cadvan asked me a few questions, and once rode Darsor close so that he could take my hand. Our conversation eventually wandered off into other topics, mainly because I pushed it in that direction. Cadvan was telling me how he had got the Speech as we came upon the Bardhome.

"Thank the Light for that, it's getting really cold," I said, before dumping my things on the ground and heading off to find the stream.

As I walked, I had to concentrate on not tripping over tree roots, so I followed my ears and the trickling of water. When at last I looked up, I saw a gorgeous clear stream, a few feet wide, which tumbled over several rocky weirs to curve past my feet and into a deep pool. It was beautiful and tranquil and made me ache to walk through it. I rolled my jeans up above my knees and waded in, the water trickling around my ankles.

"You'll get a chill going in there when it's this cold," came a voice.

I turned to see Cadvan and grinned. "Wimp."

"You have called me that once before," he replied with amusement, walking towards me. "And yet still you have not had the manners to explain the name you affix to me."

Was it strange to find his formal voice so sexy? "It means you're a coward," I explained. "Come on in, the water's lovely," I added, grinning.

He narrowed his eyes in challenge. "Easy," he said, and knelt down at the water's edge to splash some water on his face. "Just don't be too long," he added as he walked away, wiping the moisture from his face.

I stuck my tongue out at his back. "Hardly difficult," I murmured, before drying my feet and following him back to the Bardhome. I shivered as I walked; the sun was setting now, and it was getting much colder. As I entered the Bardhome, Cadvan was setting out some food. He looked up as I approached.

"We can make no fire, unfortunately," he told me as I picked up a travel biscuit. "Which is a sore pity because I think it will be very cold tonight."

"Huh, typical. We keeping a watch tonight?"

"No, we need keep no watch in a Bardhome. A full night's sleep awaits us!"

"I look forward to it."

"Why look forward when you can have the real thing?" he asked, laying down and pulling his blanket over himself.

I smiled and followed his lead, but I could not fall asleep. It was just too cold. It seeped into my skin and made me shiver as though I had bathed in ice. I lay in bone-numbing stillness until I couldn't take it any more.

"Cadvan," I hissed. "Are you awake?"

He sat up and rubbed his face. "I am now. What is it?"

"I'm freezing."

"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do, Kayla. We have no more blankets."

"No, but we'll be warmer if we sleep next to each other." He didn't say anything so I got up and lay down next to him, laying my blanket over us both.

"Kayla, what are you doing?"

"I told you, I'm freezing, and I'm not lying there freezing my bum off when I could be warm."

"But…"

"Calm down, you've got your blanket, I've got mine, it's not as though I'm telling you to do something difficult. All you've gotta do is lay there and go back to sleep."

He sighed. "Alright, Kayla."

"Alright. Now shut up and go to sleep."

--

I woke with a start when it was still dark to find our blankets covering us both and my head on Cadvan's chest.

"What is it?" he asked sleepily, evidently woken by me jumping.

"I had one of those dreams where you feel like you're falling," I explained.

"Go back to sleep," he said softly, touching my cheek and surprising me. I did as he said and by the time I awoke again he was up and ready, and waving travel biscuits under my nose.

"How are you this morning?" Cadvan asked.

I smiled. "Nice and warm now."

"Glad to hear it," he replied, mirroring my smile. "Here, you may have the rest of my biscuit. I find I do not want it, and the Light knows you could do with some weight on you."

"I'm not really hungry," I replied. "It's hardly appealing, anyway."

"Indeed it is not, but it is all we have so we shall have to make the best of it. And now, we must go," he added, standing up and brushing a few crumbs from his cloak. I stayed sitting down and watched him. It seemed a motion he had practised well, as though he had done it many times before. I looked at him really properly for the first time since I had arrived here; his hair just touching his neck and almost glittering in the early sun. His eyes were large, with shadows underneath them - though paler than the day before, they were still there. He looked slightly strange without the whiplash scar I had half-expected to see. His arms were muscled, his body wiry and tall.

"You stare at me, Kayla," Cadvan said gently.

I blinked and shook myself. "Yeah, sorry, I was just…yeah." I got up quickly, turning my face away and hoping he would not see my blush. I really should not stare. Don't stare. Do not…stare.

"Kayla?"

STARING.

"Nothing," I said with a smile. "I'm just…peachy." Before he could ask me what that meant I added quickly: "I'm fine."

"Good. Now we must sing as we ride, I have not sung in an age! Might you teach me that song you sang in Innail? It was most beautiful."

And so that was how we spent our day. When we stopped for lunch he began to work out the notes on his lyre, and by the time we had finished our evening meal he could play the whole song, so the two of us sang along to the twinkling notes. It sounded beautiful and I said so.

"Not unlike yourself," Cadvan replied.

"Are you saying I'm beautiful?" I asked after a moment.

Cadvan smiled. "Yes, I am."

"Well then, thank you. Though I think you're wrong."

"I am rarely wrong, and I am certainly not wrong in this case. You are very beautiful."

"Ah, I've been upgraded, _very_ beautiful am I now?" I teased.

"Yes," he said simply, and I was silenced. He really meant it. I could see the sincerity burning in his eyes.

"I'm, I'm just going to, yeah…" I trailed off as I stood up, and went to have a walk. I was a little worried about getting lost but so long as I didn't walk too far Cadvan would be able to hear me. I was just getting uncomfortable sitting there with him; I needed a moment on my own.

I walked through the trees slowly, taking care not to trip over tree roots and plants. I didn't know how the horses managed it. Cadvan had said that we would be out of the forest the next morning; it was only small.

I couldn't believe he thought I was beautiful. I had been reading about this man for so long; it felt strange to finally meet him and think he might feel in some way similar about me that I felt about him.

The trees began to peter out, so I stopped walking and looked out at the view. There was a great vast plain stretching out in front of me at a slight downwards tilt. There were trees dotted about, and the road curved right the way across it.

I heard crackling twigs behind me. "Kayla?" came a soft voice, revealing the person to be Cadvan. The footsteps continued, and then stopped. Suddenly they renewed again, faster, and just as he was about to reach me I turned around and his lips met mine in a brief but firm kiss. He had taken my face in his hands at the same time, and left them there as he rested his forehead against mine."Please tell me my actions do not offend you," he said rapidly.

I grinned. "Of course not. Now do it again."

He let out a sigh and then we were kissing again, quickly and urgently. As we pulled away he said, "I was so afraid you would tell me to go jump in a lake."

--

And that's your lot. I hope you liked it, but either way please review and I'm very sorry for the delay.


	13. Swift

_Yeah, yeah, I know I said I'd have it done by Monday. Forgive me? Please?_

_This is a little shorter than most, but no matter, it needs to be. I do believe this is the third-to-last chapter. How strange to be so near the end when they feel so near the beginning._

--

A great roaring drifted through the forest, causing animals to disappear and birds to take sudden flight.

Cadvan took hold of my hand gently. "As is always, the Dark puts an end to our cheer," he said levelly.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I think, unless I am much mistaken, it is an aylach, and not very far away," he replied.

"And what's an aylach when it's at home?"

"It is like a wolf, but not as big: about the size of a large cat. It is almost always brown and its teeth are longer and sharper. They have a poison in them that causes drowsiness, to help them kill their prey. They often attempt to eat animals much larger than themselves. I have heard of horrible fights between wolves and aylachs, and it is said that the aylachs usually win."

"Great."

"I think, perhaps, we should hurry back to our horses and hope to be gone before it reaches us, for it will not stray far from the forest."

I followed him swiftly through the trees. "And this is a creature of the Dark? Did the Dark make it then?"

"No, but they posses of a meagre intelligence, usually directed to the next meal, and if a person would approach them and ask them to kill a particular creature or person, they would not object. They have a voracious appetite."

"But why would somebody send them after us?" I asked.

"Because you are of Pellinor, and to be of Pellinor is reason enough to be killed."

I shivered, unsettled by the knowledge that there may be a dangerous creature out there hunkering after my blood.

"Keep your sword loose," Cadvan advised me.

As we reached the clearing again Darsor lifted his head and snorted at us. Cadvan rubbed his nose and touched Swift's neck so that she would pay attention. _"Speed is required,"_ he said in the Speech. _"Are you both ready?"_

Swift blew gently through her nose. _"Was that an aylach?"_ she asked Cadvan.

"_Aye, I think so."_

She took a few steps towards me - I tried not to move away and she stood proudly in front of me. _"I will carry you quickly," _she promised, nudging me in the chest and making me stumble.

"Come, let us go," Cadvan urged, and we both mounted. The horses could do no more than trot in the leafy undergrowth, beset as it was with hidden roots and dangers. Swift placed her foot half an inch from a snake, causing it to hiss loudly.

The trees were beginning to thin out, and Swift and Darsor sped up into a cautious canter. Another growl ripped through the forest.

Swift's head began to nod, jerking me out of the saddle. _"What's wrong?"_ I asked her.

"_My foot,"_ she replied. _"It hurts."_

"Cadvan! Swift's hurt!"

He brought Darsor to a halt and Swift followed his lead. She was holding one foot off the ground and when I dismounted I saw a small amount of blood. Cadvan pulled one of his shirts out of the saddlebags. Using a stout stick, he prised a large stone out of the centre of her foot. The blood flow increased and Cadvan quickly made a bandage out of his spare shirt.

"_Is that better?" _he asked.

"_It hurts,"_ she said quietly, looking miserably down at her foot, pawing it in the air experimentally.

"_Come on, we have to keep moving,"_ I said, taking hold of Swift's reins and leading her onwards.

"_I will carry you, my little filly,"_ Swift said, nudging me in the small of my back. _"We will be faster."_

"_But you're hurt,"_ I protested.

"_I said I would carry you, and that is what I shall do. Come, little one, we haven't much time."_

Annoyed as I was to be called 'little', I was touched by her selflessness, and a tear was born in my eye as I reluctantly did as she had said. Cadvan looked as uneasy as I was with the arrangement, but we had little choice.

As we moved on, the growling changed into a long howl.

"It has caught the scent it wants," Cadvan said. "It is warning any others away from its prey."

Swift was still struggling along on three legs, her head nodding in pain.

"Cadvan, it's getting closer," I called to him.

"Just keep going," he replied. "We'll make it. Just a little further."

Swift stumbled over a tree root, pitching me forwards in the saddle and almost throwing me onto the ground. _"I am sorry,"_ she said to me. I dismounted - she clearly needed all of her concentration to keep upright, and me sitting on top of her ruining her balance wasn't going to help any. _"You go on," _she told me. _"It is you the aylach is hunting. He will not want me."_

"_We cannot be sure of that," _Cadvan said quietly. _"It may be hungry."_

"_But you should still go," _she said. _"Take care of the little one," _she added.

I was about to complain that I did not need any looking after, when Cadvan said, _"Oh, I think she will be looking after me."_

"_We can't just leave you," _I protested.

"_You must. Go!"_

"Come on, Kayla. It is true, the aylach is very unlikely to go after her. She will be fine."

I linked my arms around Swift's neck and gave her a hug. _"You're very brave,"_ I told her, and then Cadvan told me to mount Darsor with him. I kept my eyes on Swift as we trotted away, standing between the trees with one foot off the ground but her head still high and her ears pricked.

"Will she be alright?" I asked Cadvan anxiously.

"That wound was bad. If it heals well, she should be fine, but we don't know what else is out there."

I kept listening for the tell-tale sounds of snarling, of Swift neighing, but I heard nothing. I hoped that meant she was alright.

"I think it's getting closer," I told Cadvan quietly. The rustling was much, much nearer, perhaps only 100 feet away, and there was growling becoming louder.

Without warning the aylach exploded out of the undergrowth and fixed its jaws around Darsor's leg, who kicked and bucked furiously. The movement dislodged me from the saddle and I fell hard onto my shoulder. Cadvan called my name and I saw him dismount before sharp teeth closed on my arm. I screamed and irrationally tried to beat it off with my other hand.

The aylach dodged as Cadvan brought his sword down on it, embedding the point in the ground. I tried to move out of the way, but already my brain felt slow and muzzy. Before Cadvan could dislodge his sword, the aylach came at me again and buried its teeth in my shoulder. I vaguely knew that I was in pain, that I might die, but I was too tired and sleepy…What did it matter if I died? It was just like going to sleep…

My eyes focused on Darsor, who was lying on his side, his legs twitching. One forefoot pawed the air. The aylach was out of sight so Cadvan quickly bandaged my wounds.

"Kayla, stay with me now."

My eyes drifted closed and then open again, and I saw my own blood mingling with more. Cadvan must have killed the aylach. The forest wavered.

"Kayla, don't go. Talk to me. Kayla, say something. Kayla?"

My eyes were wide as I looked at him.

"My name's not Kayla," I said.

Everything went black.

--

_Cliffie =D_


	14. Darsor

_Hello my dears! Thank you for sticking with me for so long =)_

--

_Reprise:_

_My eyes drifted closed and then open again, and I saw my own blood mingling with more. Cadvan must have killed the aylach. The forest wavered._

"_Kayla, don't go. Talk to me. Kayla, say something. Kayla?"_

_My eyes were wide as I looked at him._

"_My name's not Kayla," I said._

_Everything went black._

_--_

Cadvan stared at Kayla as she slipped into unconsciousness. Not Kayla? How could she not be Kayla?

Turning his mind to more important matters, Cadvan checked her pulse and her breathing. She seemed to be unharmed - apart from the two bites - though she was unconscious. She began muttering something and Cadvan bent his head to hear.

"Home…want…home…go back…"

Home? Pellinor or the Cot, Cadvan wondered. To say 'go back' sounded like the Cot. Should he take her? It was possible someone could help her there.

Either way, he couldn't leave her here and he couldn't take her on, so what real choice did he have? On the other hand, he couldn't make a month-long journey on the basis of the unconscious ramblings of a girl bitten by an aylach.

He debated for a long time, and eventually decided to delay the decision by waiting until the next morning. As far as he knew, the aylach's poison did not kill on its own, but he had never heard of a situation before now in which a person had been bitten and not killed.

Cadvan gazed down at Kayla's face, and thought how beautiful she was. She didn't deserve this. Cadvan looked up and remembered that Darsor had been bitten too - how was he going to take them both back? He did not want to leave his friend here to die.

"_Cadvan, old friend,"_ Darsor said weakly into his mind. Cadvan had to concentrate to be able to hear him. _"I cannot move."_

"_Are you in pain?"_

"_No, the bite is not bad. But Cadvan, you cannot take me with you, and you cannot leave me here. I will starve, or be killed."_

"_I know."_

"_I don't want that to happen."_

Cadvan knelt down next to him and stroked his head, fearing that he knew what he was getting at.

"_You know what I mean, don't you, Cadvan?"_ His voice was getting weaker, and Cadvan knew he would be unconscious before too long.

Cadvan bowed his head and a tear fell from his cheek onto Darsor's dark fur. He wiped it away with a stroke of his hand.

"_When I am asleep. Do it then." _They were the last words Cadvan heard his friend speak.

"_Thank you, my friend. Thank you for everything. And I am sorry."_

He sat for a long time with the horse's head in his lap, stroking his neck and crying silently.

When he was certain Darsor was unaware of anything, Cadvan laid his hand on his friend's forehead and muttered a charm, his words choked with tears. Before he could truly break down, he carried Kayla gently over to Darsor, laying her more comfortably on the fallen leaves and damp soil. He lay for hours with Darsor's head on his chest and his arm around Kayla's unconscious body.

He wondered what would happen if he just lay here, the three of them together. The world would turn around them, and they would just lie there eternal. Autumn would come soon, and the leaves would cover them, and then the snow would drift down on them. Come Summertime, no one would ever find them.

Cadvan closed his eyes and slept.

--

The next morning was bright and clear, with a warm feeling to the air that spoke of Summer. The light filtered down through the leaves and speckled over the clearing in which two people and a dead horse lay.

Cadvan opened his eyes and sat up slowly, careful not to jog Kayla or Darsor. After checking on Kayla, he found some branches to cover Darsor - he could not offer a proper burial, but he wanted to show his friend some respect.

He checked on Kayla again before numbly going over their supplies. There was enough to last him for quite a while, but he had no idea how Kayla was going to eat. That was if she ever woke up.

Looking over at her reflexively, he realised that her eyes were slightly open. He hurried over to her.

"Kayla?" he said softly.

"I want to go home. Take me back," she groaned in a weak voice.

"Back where?" he questioned, taking her hand.

"Gilman's Cot. I want…I need…Don't let them know…Take me home," she ended in a pathetic voice.

"I will," he promised, already wondering how on earth that would be possible. "Now Kayla you have to eat something. I don't know how long you're going to be awake."

Kayla did as he had said. As Cadvan watched and helped her, he noted that she looked dazed.

"Are you in any pain?" he asked worriedly.

Kayla shook her head, and then squeezed her eyes shut as though the act had dizzied her. "I can barely feel anything." She touched his hand gently. "Can you feel that?"

Cadvan nodded wordlessly.

"I can't," she replied in a choked voice. She held his hand tighter. "Now I can feel it…Will it get better?"

_I don't know. _"It'll be fine," he reassured her. He meant to go on but before any words were formed in his mind her eyes were drifting closed again. Cadvan lifted Kayla onto his lap and held her as he thought. If he could find an inn, he may be able to borrow a carriage and a couple of fast horses - Kayla could not ride, so a carriage would be much quicker than anything else.

He stood up, taking Kayla with him. He had a long walk ahead of him.

--

It was two days before Cadvan found an inn he felt safe to stop at. He spent a night there, took a horse and carriage in return for a blessing on their crops, and set off the next morning with Kayla still unconscious in the back and three strong horses pulling them. He had promised to send the horses back with a stable boy, but they had allowed him to keep the carriage until the journey was over. Cadvan was surprised at their generosity and trust, but they explained that it was so long since they had seen a Bard they were glad simply of his presence. At this, Cadvan felt guilty, and went about their house doing whatever he could to protect them and give them good fortune.

The next few weeks were filled with frantic dashes from one inn to the next. Kayla woke from time to time, ate what he gave her, but said little except to reiterate that she needed to go back to the Cot. She said someone would be able to help her there. He doubted it; after all aylachs were rarely in that area so they would have no need of an antidote, but Kayla was so insistent and so horror-struck when he expressed any doubt that it seemed to be the best course of action. He had tried to question her about her name, but she either refused to speak, or frowned at him incomprehensively as though she had no recollection of the event. Her loss of feeling increased, until she could barely feed herself because she couldn't tell how tightly she was gripping things.

They came across few Hulls, and those that there were seemed to be fairly weak and so Cadvan was able to kill, immobilise or evade them without too much trouble. There were no more ambushes, and Cadvan suspected that nobody had been expecting them to go back.

As they were passing through Innail, they stopped a night and Silvia fussed over Kayla, worrying that she did not know how to make her better, worrying that she was too thin, worrying that Cadvan had had to deal with it; basically worrying about anything she could think of. Cadvan debated whether to tell Silvia what Kayla had told him. Whatever his decision, she probably would be unable to help. In his mind, Cadvan doubted that Kayla had told the truth about her identity; she still felt like Kayla. Indik came down, grunted and shook his head, and Dernhil did not come to see her at all.

Cadvan harboured a slight doubt she would actually let them leave, but when the moment came Silvia hugged them both - though Kayla hadn't regained consciousness in the whole time they'd been there - and let them go without too much fuss. They now had a much smaller pony and trap that would hopefully allow them passage through the mountains, and had sent the innkeeper's carriage back with a teenage boy who looked delighted to have the honour and the adventure.

The journey to Gilman's Cot was the hardest; the roads were rocky, and the carriage jerked so much that Cadvan feared Kayla might fall out. When it came to passage through the mountains, Cadvan took a risk and called to the mountain lion who had guided them last time. It paid off; he agreed not only to guide them but also that Kayla could be laid over his back, if Cadvan would hold her steady.

Kayla woke up only once during the whole journey through the tunnel. Cadvan was sure she was getting worse, and feared that if she did not receive help soon she would simply never wake up. He tried not to think about that too much, choosing instead to concentrate on not falling into a hidden pit or lose his way in the dark tunnels.

At last, after what felt like months, Cadvan emerged blinking into noonday sun. Kayla did not react and the lion simply lay down to allow Cadvan to take Kayla from his back.

It felt wrong to call her Kayla now.

Cadvan thanked the lion and struggled on with Kayla in his arms. _Not much further,_ he kept telling himself. _Not much further._

He had to stop once more that night, but set off after just an hour and by midnight he could see Gilman's Cot as clear and large as life. He laid charms over them both to keep them hidden and crept forward.

He hadn't thought of this. How would they get back in? He could not scale a wall as he had last time, not with Kayla to take as well. He assumed that if he waited long enough, the gates would be opened, but that wasn't soon enough.

Without thinking about what he was doing, Cadvan cast a spell. It looked like a wisp of grey smoke, but as he sent other spells into the smoke it formed itself into a body, which turned and walked away. It took large steps all the way up to the huge gates of the Cot. Cadvan sent another spell after his creation and it raised a hand and knocked.

Sending out his hearing, Cadvan could detect mutterings from the watchtowers. They seemed uneasy, but Cadvan was sure that their curiosity would cause them to open the gates eventually. He crept forward silently, mentally checking the charms that were keeping himself and Kayla hidden.

"_What is it?"_ men were asking.

"_Some dark spirit,"_ replied a voice which sounded drunk. Cadvan hoped that Kayla's tales of drunken guards were true, because it might just give them a chance. He stopped behind his creation.

Cadvan's concentration began to waver from exhaustion, and the smoke-creature became more skeletal. It turned its eyeless face towards him as though reprimanding him, and then knocked on the gates once again.

"_See what it wants,"_ Cadvan heard to his relief.

"_It might kill us! Or worse!"_

Another voice giggled. _"Kill us,"_ it repeated happily.

Cadvan twisted his face in disgust at them. The smoke-creature was about to knock again when the gates began to screech open.

"Who's there?" came a sharp voice.

Cadvan stepped forwards through the smoke, still unseen, and as his body lined up with and passed through the other side of the smoke-creature's it leaned forwards into the man's terrified face and screamed, a long, drawn-out, dead noise. Cadvan slipped away and left the man to his nightmare.

Instinctively, Cadvan knew where he must go. He found the cowbyre he had been in before very quickly and entered it.

Kayla was back where their story together started. Would that help her?

--

_With thanks to Kiaga for being my beta and for helping me through the muddy patch._

_I think I may have just invented an awesome bad guy and turned it into something Cadvan created -raises eyebrow- I am so reusing him._


	15. Nathan

_I'm sorry for the slight shortness but it was just a good place to end. This story has had completely irregular chapters xD_

_--_

_Reprise:_

_Instinctively, Cadvan knew where he must go. He found the cowbyre he had been in before very quickly and entered it._

_Kayla was back where their story together started. Would that help her?_

_--_

"Kayla? Kayla, wake up, sweetheart. We're back."

The words drifted through my mind like a forgotten dream. Was I imagining them? I tried to move, tried to open my eyes to see if it was real.

"We're back at the Cot. No one knows we're here, is that right? I didn't know why you wanted to come here…" The voice trailed off. I couldn't tell if it had stopped or if I just couldn't hear it any more.

At last I managed to open my eyes. I saw Cadvan above me, looking relieved but tense at the same time.

"Are you alright?" he asked anxiously.

"Mmm…" was all I could manage.

"We're back. What now?"

_I don't know for certain._ "Help me up," I forced out of dry lips, and he put my arm over his shoulder to help me stand up. I looked at him fearfully. "I can't feel anything."

"Shh," he said gently, and kissed my cheek. "Don't worry."

I pointed at the door I had come through and he supported me as I struggled towards it.

"It's locked," Cadvan said as we stopped in front of it.

I didn't have the energy to speak so I held out a hand and gripped the padlock, frowning hard. I couldn't see how just holding a lock would cause it to open, but if it didn't work I didn't know what else to do.

The lock clicked.

"It worked," Cadvan said, sounding very far away. My legs collapsed but I was unconscious before I hit the ground.

--

Cadvan supported Kayla's full weight as she collapsed, before trying the door. It opened with a squelch and swung away.

Cadvan stared. Through the door there was a brightly-lit room, even though he knew that it should open into the open air.

He stepped through slowly, pulling Kayla with him. He started as he saw movement, before realising that it was his own reflection in a mirror. There were glass bottles in neat rows displaying their brightly coloured contents. Was this medicine? He laid Kayla down gently and pulled one off the shelf to examine it, knocking off another with a _bang_ in the process.

'Shower gel', the label said.

What? He unscrewed the lid and sniffed the contents; a sickly sweet smell reached his nostrils and he replaced the lid. As he put it back onto the shelf he realised that the bottle was too light and too pliable to be glass.

He picked up another, smaller, bottle.

'Cleanser'.

Wasn't that what he wanted? Something to cleanse her body of the poison?

As he was contemplating persuading Kayla to swallow it, he heard footsteps and looked up quickly, drawing his sword. He suspected this was a hospital but he was in no way certain so caution was wise.

A blonde-haired man of medium height came into the room, blinked as he saw Cadvan and then jumped back as he spotted his sword. Cadvan watched him look wildly around the room until his eyes came to rest on Kayla.

"If you've hurt her, I will kill you," he spat.

Cadvan considered him for a moment. Anybody so protective of Kayla had to know her and want to help her. He sheathed his sword warily.

"She's been bitten," he explained, but the man seemed not to be listening; the moment Cadvan had sheathed his sword, he had rushed to Kayla's side and placed his hand on her cheek.

"Kimberly?" Cadvan heard him murmur, and a jolt went through him.

"What did you call her?" he asked, thinking that at last he would find out what Kayla had been hiding. The idea excited and repulsed him.

"Kimberly, that's her _name_," the man replied venomously as he picked her up carefully. "I'm Nathan. I'm her…boyfriend," the word seemed painful for him, and Cadvan wondered why. As he did not even really know what a boyfriend was, he did not get far in his ruminations. "Are you Cadvan?"

"Aye," Cadvan replied, wondering how he knew. He felt completely out of his depth; he did not understand this room, or this man…He followed him out of the room and into a corridor. "Can you help her?" he asked.

"What happened?"

"She was bitten by an aylach," Cadvan explained as Nathan laid Kayla down on a double bed and made her comfortable. He prayed that Nathan would be able to help her.

"What's an aylach?" Nathan asked, frowning, and Cadvan's heart sank.

"It's like a wolf. Its bite has a soporific effect, and causes one to lose feeling."

Nathan just frowned at him for a second then suddenly Cadvan was being shoved back against the wall, Nathan's furious face pushed close to his own. "You had better be telling the truth," he snarled. "Because if you're taking advantage or something, if you've just convinced her she's ill, I will kill you." He slammed Cadvan against the wall again to make his point and Cadvan resisted the strong urge to blast him.

"I am not a liar. Kayla is ill and she needs help."

"HER NAME'S KIMBERLY!" Nathan yelled, shoving him against the wall once more. Cadvan's head connected with the wall and he would have struck Nathan if the anger had not seemed suddenly to drain out of the man. Nathan ran a hand through his hair looking panicked. "I don't know what to do," he admitted in a choked voice. "I don't even know what's wrong with her. There's no point taking her to hospital, they won't know what's going on." He turned and left the room quickly, and Cadvan went to Kayla's - Kimberly's - side.

"Please get well," he said softly, taking hold of her hand. He stroked her fingers gently as Nathan came into the room again. He stopped dead just inside the doorway.

"Did you and she…?" he trailed off.

"What?" Cadvan asked, nonplussed.

Nathan gestured at their hands.

"One kiss, that was all," he replied, understanding.

Nathan nodded once, his face carefully blank, and continued forwards. He managed to make Kimberly swallow two small white things, though she did not seem to register anything.

"Are the two of you together?" Cadvan asked, fishing desperately for information about her.

"Yeah." He looked saddened again, and Cadvan was confused by the mixed messages he was giving out. He was fiercely protective of her, yet always seemed regretful when he spoke of their relationship. Cadvan himself was slowly coming around to the idea that Kimberly already had a lover, and was torn between jealously towards Nathan and anger at Kimberly for her many deceptions.

"I was going to ask her to marry me," Nathan said slowly, gazing at Kimberly's face. "On her birthday." He rubbed at the back of his neck distractedly. "We were supposed to be going out for an expensive meal…I'd booked a table, she bought a new dress…I came home from work and she was brushing her hair. She smiled at me, she seemed happy. She looked beautiful." He paused. "She always does." Nathan looked at Cadvan now as he continued. "I went out to get her some flowers, and when I came back I called her. She didn't answer so I came in here and she was sat on the bed hugging her knees. She was in the dress she'd bought for our meal. She was rocking backwards and forwards saying 'Cadvan' over and over and over."

Cadvan stared back at Nathan, completely bemused.

"She didn't stop for three hours. We didn't go out. Neither of us ate anything. I never got to propose to her." He went over to a drawer and rummaged through his socks. After a moment he pulled out a little black box and opened it to show Cadvan a silver ring with a diamond. "I've still got the ring, but I'm too scared to try and ask her again."

Questions swirled around Cadvan's brain, so plentiful that they seemed to stop up his mouth. "How does she know me?" he managed at last.

Nathan sighed in annoyance and picked up a thick book from a bedside table. "She knows you from this," he explained, handing the book over.

Cadvan took it curiously. It was clean as though brand-new, but the spine was cracked and the front cover was bent. The front cover said 'The Gift'. He opened it and saw that the first page had a name scrawled upon it in black pen; 'Alison Croggon'.

"Why was she saying my name?" Cadvan asked, looking up.

Nathan regarded Cadvan for a second, and seemed to be considering his words. "Read the first few chapters of that. Then I'll explain everything. Go through there into the living room, I'll watch Kimberly."

Cadvan moved towards the door, pausing as he stood in the doorframe. "Why did she tell me her name was Kayla when it is Kimberly?" he asked. "Why did she lie about who she was?"

Nathan, who had moved to sit next to Kimberly on the bed, looked up at him. "Read that first. You need to know what you are, then I'll explain."

Cadvan continued out of the door, pondering Nathan's words.

_'You need to know what you are.'_

_--_

_I've a feeling you're all going to be rather annoyed with me now, since there are more questions than answers, but I doubly promise forever and ever amen that all will be explained in the next chapter. Please review, even if only to tell me I should get on and tell you what's going on!_


	16. The End

Cadvan put the book down after five chapters.

Somebody had written a book about him. A book that started just before he met Kimberly - except in this book he didn't. What was going on?

He stood and walked back into the bedroom, to see Nathan laying next to Kayla on the bed, holding her hand. She was still asleep.

"What is the meaning of this?" Cadvan asked. "I don't understand. How does anybody know that I went to the Cot? And who is this Maerad?"

"Maerad is the girl you should have met," Nathan replied, without looking up. "You come from -" he broke off and seemed to think for a moment, glancing up at Cadvan, before continuing, "the past. A very long time ago. And that book is what should have happened, except Maerad and Kimberly swapped places. Maerad is the One, by the way."

Cadvan stared at him wordlessly. Nathan's words, delivered in such a casual way, changed his whole existence. If the Foretold had been born, that meant it was time to overthrow the Nameless One.

Nathan kissed Kimberly's forehead and looked at Cadvan. "There's something you need to know about Kimberly. She has…problems…in her mind. A lot of the time you wouldn't even be able to tell but sometimes she just…" He clicked his fingers, "goes. Like her birthday, when she sat chanting your name. She makes these whole identities for herself, usually from books or films. She puts herself into the story; it's like her imagination is just working overtime."

Cadvan was reeling. He had never guessed it would be something like that; he had imagined a deception. He had even forced himself to examine the possibility of Dark forces, but this…

"I don't usually read her books. It's just too strange. But after she went missing and Maerad turned up, I remembered Kim saying something about it, so I read it. Did you scry her?"

"Aye. I did not want to, but I had to be sure. Why did I not see? Because she believes it so strongly?"

"I suppose it must be. She's been practising being Kayla for so long, dreaming about it, I suppose it's like part of her _is_ Kayla." The two men sat in silence for several minutes, both quietly contemplating the young woman. "You did look after her, didn't you?"

"Aye. As best as I could…She is very beautiful."

Nathan smiled gently at Kimberly. "I love her so much. Despite everything she's been through, she's still so strong. When she was young, her stepfather set fire to the house while she was inside it. Ever since then she's had this weird thing about fire; she gets flashbacks when she sees it. But she's wonderful."

Cadvan didn't know what to say. He dearly wished to continue on their journey but it seemed that was impossible. If Kimberly had just been acting out a rehearsed part as Kayla she would surely not want to return with him.

Return…to the past? It seemed an incredible thing now that he pondered the concept. He came from the past, and Kimberly from the future. How could they ever overcome that distance? And Kimberly already had a life here; a house and a lover and no doubt countless other things that he could hardly guess at anchoring her to her life. With Nathan, not with him.

Cadvan felt a twinge that was like duty, and he thought he knew what he was going to do, but it was going to hurt more than he wanted to think about.

"Where is this Maerad?" he asked, his stomach contracting to show its dislike of the idea.

"I called her earlier. She's on her way here now."

"Now? The Foretold is coming here…now?" Cadvan's surprise was interrupted by Kimberly making a grunting, groaning noise.

--

"Nn..Nath?" I muttered, and I felt Nathan's grip on my hand tightening.

"I'm here, sweetheart. How do you feel?"

I couldn't help but grin. "I can feel. That's good enough for me!" I laughed with relief and Nathan kissed me.

"You're alright?" he checked, and I nodded.

"I'm good." Suddenly I remembered Cadvan and looked up to see him watching me with a pained expression on his face. I couldn't meet his eyes so instead I concentrated on answering the myriad questions Nathan was asking; did I want a drink, did I want something to eat, did anything hurt…

There was a ring at the doorbell. "That'll be Maerad," Nathan said. "I'll go and let her in."

He left Cadvan and me in an awkward silence. He kept watching me as I fiddled with the duvet.

To my great relief, it was not long until Nathan returned with Maerad behind him. She seemed to know where she was going, as though she had been here before. It flashed through my mind that maybe Nathan had been cheating on me, but the thought was gone before it had even fully formed. Nathan wouldn't do that, he just wouldn't.

Not like me.

I instinctively glanced at Cadvan with guilt in my eyes, to realise that he was watching Maerad enter the room. His face had softened as his eyes roamed over her face. I could only guess at his feelings; probably he felt shock at seeing the Foretold, surprised that she was just a young woman, and I was sure he thought her beautiful.

There was an instant's pause, before Cadvan stepped forwards to stand in front of Maerad.

"Greetings, Maerad. They tell me that you are the Foretold," he said as Nathan sat next to me again and held me.

"Yes," Maerad replied. She was blushing slightly, and I realised that she must have read the series and therefore know that the two of them became lovers in the books.

Cadvan took Maerad's hand in his own. "In that case I will help you in any way I can. It is about time the Nameless met his match."

"Thank you," she said quietly. "I think it will be easier than this Alison Croggon person writes. I already know the answers." She attempted a small smile, seeming almost paralysed by shyness.

Both Cadvan and Maerad stayed the night with us, and the next morning we opened the door of the shower to see Gilman's Cot. I hugged Cadvan goodbye and the others said goodbye to each other, and then they left.

A week later, I could hardly believe anything had ever happened.

--

_I know it's short but that's how it is. The last chapter, the epilogue will be up __very__ soon, I promise you._

_Sorry the end is so lame but I don't know how else to do it._


	17. Epilogue

Maerad concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. Cadvan held her hand tightly as he walked with her. Tears were falling freely from her cheeks, splashing onto the damp ground.

"I can't believe this happened," Maerad whispered, more to herself than to the man beside her. "How could this happen? It's not fair…Oh please, Cadvan, it's not fair."

"Shhh…" he soothed her gently. "I know it's not fair," he continued in a murmur. "But there's nothing to be done, my love. I'm still here for you, you know I'll never leave you."

"But he was my _brother_. I thought I'd get to meet him, at least. But to see him there, in that caravan…" A choked sob cut off the rest of her words. "I was too late," she cried. "It's all my fault he's d-dead!" She buried her face in Cadvan's chest and, as she had hoped, as she had needed, he wrapped his arms tightly around her. He guided her forwards, following the Bards carrying Cai's body. The brother Maerad had never known.

"It's not your fault, you couldn't have known he would die, you couldn't have known how late we were. If it wasn't for that stupid door in Gilman's Cot…"

"Thank you everybody for being here today," the Bard leading the funeral began. Maerad looked around her through her tears; she an Cadvan were the only people there. "Cai had a short and painful life, but now we have hope that he will find peace beyond the Gates in the Uncircled Open." He looked up at Maerad. "Do you have a song before I lead us in the Song of Ending?"

Maerad nodded and Cadvan played his lyre to accompany her as she sang of the love she held for the brother she had never known, taken from the world too soon.

--

I concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. My friend Jacob held my hand tightly as he walked with me. Tears were gathering in my eyes, and I fought to keep them from falling.

"I can't believe this is happening," I murmured gleefully.

"It's about time too!" Jacob hissed back.

As we reached Nathan in his best suit, beaming at me, Jacob kissed me on the cheek and went to sit down. Nathan swept the white fabric over my head.

"We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Nathan and Kimberly…"

I'd never been so happy in my life.

--

_Hmm…not how I imagined I'd be ending this story but never mind. I was just trying to show the consequences on Maerad's world if Kimberly/Kayla was there instead of her._

_OMG...I can't believe I've finally finished it ^.^_


End file.
